Someone finally sees it my way.
Paul Hunter's article in the Toronto Star today gave me a boner. The article, entitled 'If Peca Stays, Stajan Goes' explains in detail exactly what the title conveys in 5 words. The Leafs are pursuing Mike Peca but have already committed themselves to $48 million in salary this year. Obviously this isn't the full $50.3 million salary cap, but the team would like to keep the remaining salary available so as to leave themselves some wiggle room to pick up a rental player for the inevitable drive for the playoffs.
If the Leafs want Mike Peca back, the logical solution to the problem is to lose the player that Peca would effectively replace in the lineup: Matt Stajan. Stajan figures to be the 3rd line centre this year, behind Mats Sundin and Kyle Wellwood. This is the same 3rd line centre spot that Mike Peca would fill. So, why not get rid of the salary needed to sign Peca, while vacating his roster spot at the same time?
The 3rd line on a hockey team - with very few exceptions (ie. the 2006-2007 Buffalo Sabres with Afinogenov/Roy/Vanek) - is the checking line. Thus, our 3rd line centre will be a role player that is expected to help the team in ways other than putting up points. Anyone familiar with Mike Peca's work knows that is exactly what he brings to the table. Anyone familiar with Matt Stajan's knows that he simply cannot compete with Peca in a checking role, and that he is way too young to be going bald. Peca is an above-average faceoff artist, a feared open-ice hitter, a top penalty killer, and one of the more cerebral players in the game. Stajan undoubtedly has an NHL-calibre skill set but has yet to add to that skill set with intangibles such as grit or drive. He is not yet talented enough to be an ideal scoring (first and second) line player, yet not gritty enough to be an ideal checking (third and fourth) line player. He is caught in hockey limbo.
The fact is that Mike Peca is the more valuable player to the team. Take it to the bank.
And now for the part of the story that makes me ashamed to be a Leafs fan:
What the fuck is wrong with hockey fans? Why do they have to make me look bad all the time? Do you know how hard it is to admit being a fan of the Maple Leafs when there are so many ditch-digging douche bags that are also part of Leafs Nation? There was a poll attached to the Hunter column today, which asked "If the Maple Leafs could have only one of Mike Peca and Matt Stajan, who would you rather have?"
The results? Stajan winning 939-421 at the time of writing. Thats a fucking 70% majority that would rather have Stajan than Peca. I'd expect this sort of shit from Toronto Sun readers, but the Star?!?
Next up for Star readers: A petition to trade Tomas Kaberle for Darius Kasparaitus.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Changes coming to Hockey Night In Canada
As reported in an earlier post, it appears that Bob Cole and Harry Neale are circling the drain. The Globe & Mail reports that Bob Cole has signed a 2 year transitional contract that will see his workload gradually decline. Harry Neale has inked a 1 year deal, also with a reduced workload.
Thank fuck.
I am one of many Canadians that grew up listening to Bob & Harry call games. Their voices have been the soundtrack to many of my Saturday nights for over 20 years. I am also, however, one of seemingly few Canadians that has noticed their agonizing fall from glory. Their retirement is bittersweet but necessary.
Who will replace the dynamic duo? Who knows. The Globe article speculates that Craig Simpson may leave his assistant coach position with the Oilers to join Hockey Night In Canada, albeit not to replace Cole or Neale, . It's a good thing that CBC has embraced the high-definition widescreen format, as Simpson's head would win first, second, and third place in a cinder block look-alike contest. His mother's vagina is still recovering.
It seems that a change in broadcasters is not all we should expect from HNIC.
The HNIC pre-game show, which mostly consists of a drunk Don Cherry screaming at Ron MacLean, will be jazzed up a bit. CBC has conned a slimy corporate sponsor into associating its name with what will likely be a half hour sit-through of shit. CBC Sports boss Scott Moore explained that he'd like the HNIC pre-game to become a tradition, much like the NFL pre-game ritual is to football fans. Great. By the 2008/2009 season, the show will be so dumbed-down that we'll be used to watching Chad "No, Nickelback does not suck" Kroeger's season-long attempt to eat Foster Hewitt's corpse. FYI Chad, Nickelback most definitely does suck. But I digress...
Also up for some change is the coma-inducing Satellite Hot Stove. Now, I don't know what the fuck hot stoves are, but if the show is any indication, they are fairly shitty. I like that it gives airtime to issues not normally covered by traditional hockey broadcasts, but it is agonizingly boring. Hopefully they will stick to the same type of content but add some excitement. Maybe add another cast member? Better yet, have Erik Duhatschek snort lines of coke from Al Strachan's ass crack.
p.s. Pierre LeBrun, your goatee is way too fucking small for your face. You are on TV now, didn't anyone tell you? Sort yourself out, man!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Hockey comes back September 18...kind of
Here's another from the 'Most people don't give a shit' files - the 2007 pre-season schedule has been released. The Leafs will open the pre-season against Sheldon "Beatwife" Souray and the Edmonton Oilers. In reality though, players with any talent to speak of will not be playing in the game - it'll be the Toronto Marlies vs. the Hamilton Bulldogs with a couple of NHL-calibre players forced to show up. They, of course, mail it in.
The Leafs have an 8 game pre-season, with 4 games to be played at the ACC, 3 on the road, and 1 - against Phoenix - in Winnipeg. The people of Winnipeg will be thrilled to have the franchise that was ripped out of their city - despite great attendance - come back to tease them for a night. Nice prick job, Bettman.
The Blue & White would like to take this opportunity to give a nice, heartfelt 'Fuck You" to LeafsTV, the greasy bastards that will air the pre-season games. Maple Leafs Sports & Entertainment, owner of both the Leafs and LeafsTV, are gradually but steadily allowing conventional cable stations to air fewer and fewer games, forcing Leaf die-hards to purchase LeafsTV to catch the games. Fer fucksakes LeafsTV, do you think it'd be possible to air anything worthwhile when you aren't showing a Leaf game? Anything at all! Fuckkkk. If ever there was a building that stood for quality television broadcasting, LeafsTV is the plane that crashed into it. I'd rather watch Waterworld back to back to back than have to put up with the shit that LeafsTV shoves down our throats.
The Leafs have an 8 game pre-season, with 4 games to be played at the ACC, 3 on the road, and 1 - against Phoenix - in Winnipeg. The people of Winnipeg will be thrilled to have the franchise that was ripped out of their city - despite great attendance - come back to tease them for a night. Nice prick job, Bettman.
The Blue & White would like to take this opportunity to give a nice, heartfelt 'Fuck You" to LeafsTV, the greasy bastards that will air the pre-season games. Maple Leafs Sports & Entertainment, owner of both the Leafs and LeafsTV, are gradually but steadily allowing conventional cable stations to air fewer and fewer games, forcing Leaf die-hards to purchase LeafsTV to catch the games. Fer fucksakes LeafsTV, do you think it'd be possible to air anything worthwhile when you aren't showing a Leaf game? Anything at all! Fuckkkk. If ever there was a building that stood for quality television broadcasting, LeafsTV is the plane that crashed into it. I'd rather watch Waterworld back to back to back than have to put up with the shit that LeafsTV shoves down our throats.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Boss!
There was an interesting footnote to Chris Zelkovich's column from Friday. The article, revolving around Bob McCown's Prime Time Sports, was interesting enough, but what struck me was the "SUMMER HOCKEY" hodgepodge at the end. It read:
"There's little doubt that Bob Cole and Harry Neale will be back with Hockey Night In Canada this fall, but changes are surely coming. Cole's agent Elliott Kerr says he has no doubt the 74-year-old announcer will be behind the microphone doing what he's always done. CBC Sports head Scott Moore has indicated that, too. "We're in the process of reviewing all facets of Hockey Night from last season and looking at continuing the tradition of improvement every season," Moore said. ``I'm hopeful both Bob and Harry will be back next season." But don't be surprised if CBC starts easing out Cole by assigning Jim Hughson to a lot more of the early games. The guy has to retire sometime."
Small birds read that article, and immediately fell from the sky, dead. Is CBC finally prying Bob and Harry out of the broadcast booth? My best guess had that happening about 10 years after the earth crashed into the sun. I'll spare Bob and Harry the sharp tongue that Brian Duff was licked with, but the simple fact is that the once-great duo has lost a step. They frequently miscall games and melt down more often than Brian "Boom Goes The Dynamite" Collins. Although that seems apparent to any observant Leaf fan, CBC's refusal to give anyone else a chance on Saturday night made many of us think we were stuck with Cole and Neale.
Scott Moore's comments, however, give me some hope (however small) that the HNIC early game might be called by someone else in the near future. Following a sentence that hints at a retooling at HNIC with a remark hoping for the commentators' return translates into bad news for the duo and good news for HNIC viewers. At the very least, Moore's comments tell us not to buy stock in Bob Cole or Harry Neale. Thank fuck.
"There's little doubt that Bob Cole and Harry Neale will be back with Hockey Night In Canada this fall, but changes are surely coming. Cole's agent Elliott Kerr says he has no doubt the 74-year-old announcer will be behind the microphone doing what he's always done. CBC Sports head Scott Moore has indicated that, too. "We're in the process of reviewing all facets of Hockey Night from last season and looking at continuing the tradition of improvement every season," Moore said. ``I'm hopeful both Bob and Harry will be back next season." But don't be surprised if CBC starts easing out Cole by assigning Jim Hughson to a lot more of the early games. The guy has to retire sometime."
Small birds read that article, and immediately fell from the sky, dead. Is CBC finally prying Bob and Harry out of the broadcast booth? My best guess had that happening about 10 years after the earth crashed into the sun. I'll spare Bob and Harry the sharp tongue that Brian Duff was licked with, but the simple fact is that the once-great duo has lost a step. They frequently miscall games and melt down more often than Brian "Boom Goes The Dynamite" Collins. Although that seems apparent to any observant Leaf fan, CBC's refusal to give anyone else a chance on Saturday night made many of us think we were stuck with Cole and Neale.
Scott Moore's comments, however, give me some hope (however small) that the HNIC early game might be called by someone else in the near future. Following a sentence that hints at a retooling at HNIC with a remark hoping for the commentators' return translates into bad news for the duo and good news for HNIC viewers. At the very least, Moore's comments tell us not to buy stock in Bob Cole or Harry Neale. Thank fuck.
Hey Simmons, can you turn your nose up to the sun? I want to see what time it is.
In his July 8 post, Toronto Sun columnist Steve Simmons - a total bag of shit - had the following to say:
"At the same time that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment Ltd. committed $44 million to Jason Blake and Jason Kapono, they let broadcasters Brian Duff and Norma Wick go: They called it cost cutting ... Duff shouldn't be out of work long: He's one of the most underrated broadcasters in the industry and smarter and more skilled than many of those currently working on major networks in this country ..."
When I read that, I about shit. This is the first time since the inception of The Blue and White that I have disagreed with Simmons, but only because it's the first time his name has been mentioned. His evaluation of Brian Duff's talent is a bunch of malarkey.
I'll give Simmons smarter. Duff has legitimate hockey knowledge and insight. In short, the man flat out knows his shit. Since we are talking about the television medium, though, Duff's usefulness is on par with the nutritional benefit of eating a roasted bandage.
Underrated? Anyone watching a LeafsTV broadcast hosted by Brian Duff knows - to put it mildly - that Duff must have smoked a few poles to land that job. There is obviously no meritocracy at MLSE - but we already knew that. The fact that Duff even landed a TV job makes him overrated. I'm not all that familiar with Duff's body of work pre-LeafsTV (save for some time at the Fan590), but he has the on-air personality of a dead moth, combined with a dull stare, and the inability to complete one single fucking sentence without beginning it with "uhhh" or "ummm". Its called disfluency, Brian, look into it. T-t-t-today, junior! Brian Duff is more suited for print or radio, because on television he's as bad as they come.
Post Script: While 'researching' this post, I came across a Howard Berger story from a couple of years ago, in which he predicts Duff will replace Ron MacLean on Hockey Night In Canada whenever Ronnie retires. What the fuck? Am I missing something here? I wouldn't want Brian Duff hosting the Adopt-A-Pet segment on public access TV, never mind one of the nation's most recognized institutions.
"At the same time that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment Ltd. committed $44 million to Jason Blake and Jason Kapono, they let broadcasters Brian Duff and Norma Wick go: They called it cost cutting ... Duff shouldn't be out of work long: He's one of the most underrated broadcasters in the industry and smarter and more skilled than many of those currently working on major networks in this country ..."
When I read that, I about shit. This is the first time since the inception of The Blue and White that I have disagreed with Simmons, but only because it's the first time his name has been mentioned. His evaluation of Brian Duff's talent is a bunch of malarkey.
I'll give Simmons smarter. Duff has legitimate hockey knowledge and insight. In short, the man flat out knows his shit. Since we are talking about the television medium, though, Duff's usefulness is on par with the nutritional benefit of eating a roasted bandage.
Underrated? Anyone watching a LeafsTV broadcast hosted by Brian Duff knows - to put it mildly - that Duff must have smoked a few poles to land that job. There is obviously no meritocracy at MLSE - but we already knew that. The fact that Duff even landed a TV job makes him overrated. I'm not all that familiar with Duff's body of work pre-LeafsTV (save for some time at the Fan590), but he has the on-air personality of a dead moth, combined with a dull stare, and the inability to complete one single fucking sentence without beginning it with "uhhh" or "ummm". Its called disfluency, Brian, look into it. T-t-t-today, junior! Brian Duff is more suited for print or radio, because on television he's as bad as they come.
Post Script: While 'researching' this post, I came across a Howard Berger story from a couple of years ago, in which he predicts Duff will replace Ron MacLean on Hockey Night In Canada whenever Ronnie retires. What the fuck? Am I missing something here? I wouldn't want Brian Duff hosting the Adopt-A-Pet segment on public access TV, never mind one of the nation's most recognized institutions.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
2007 / 2008 Schedule Released
The Stanley Cup champion Anaheim Ducks will play a two-game series versus the infinitely shittier L.A. Kings in London, England to open the season. Upon hearing the news, pasty white English people throughout the country were genuinely excited...for the Spice Girls reunion.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the decision to play regular-season NHL games overseas, it just strikes me as something someone with Down's Syndrome (as if The Blue & White wasn't lowbrow enough, we're now poking fun at puddinheads...meuh!) would do. What the fuck, Gary Bettman? Your attempts at increasing NHL awareness in the USA have gone so well that you feel the need to invade another country? Even fucking Hitler made sure he had a stronghold on Poland before he moved on.
In Leafs Nation, there aren't too many surprises with the upcoming sched. Like last year, the Leafs open the year with a home-and-home against Ottawa. After Ottawa takes 4 of a possible 4 points from us, we'll move on to the rest of the year. And I'll be sitting on the rug in my living room, drunk off my ass, wondering why I bother watching this team when I could be doing something worthwhile.
The Leafs' longest road trip is a 7 gamer, however it is split up (5 + 2) by the x-mas break. It's only really a road trip in theory, as they play 7 straight on the road, but the team will be at home on x-mas, pretending they are good husbands. The Leafs longest home stand is a 5 pack in February. The most noticeable portion of their schedule (as I quickly look it over after 6 beers) is that 8 of their first 10 games are at home. Therefore, if the Leafs stumble out of the gate and waste their precious home games, the playoff will be a pipe dream again this year. That, or they'll have to put on their big-girl panties and actually win on the road.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the decision to play regular-season NHL games overseas, it just strikes me as something someone with Down's Syndrome (as if The Blue & White wasn't lowbrow enough, we're now poking fun at puddinheads...meuh!) would do. What the fuck, Gary Bettman? Your attempts at increasing NHL awareness in the USA have gone so well that you feel the need to invade another country? Even fucking Hitler made sure he had a stronghold on Poland before he moved on.
In Leafs Nation, there aren't too many surprises with the upcoming sched. Like last year, the Leafs open the year with a home-and-home against Ottawa. After Ottawa takes 4 of a possible 4 points from us, we'll move on to the rest of the year. And I'll be sitting on the rug in my living room, drunk off my ass, wondering why I bother watching this team when I could be doing something worthwhile.
The Leafs' longest road trip is a 7 gamer, however it is split up (5 + 2) by the x-mas break. It's only really a road trip in theory, as they play 7 straight on the road, but the team will be at home on x-mas, pretending they are good husbands. The Leafs longest home stand is a 5 pack in February. The most noticeable portion of their schedule (as I quickly look it over after 6 beers) is that 8 of their first 10 games are at home. Therefore, if the Leafs stumble out of the gate and waste their precious home games, the playoff will be a pipe dream again this year. That, or they'll have to put on their big-girl panties and actually win on the road.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
I have no idea how so many gay references made it into this post.
Yes, I have been away from posting for several days. I have been busy. That's actually a lie. I haven't been busy - but neither have the Leafs or anyone else in the NHL. There has been very little going on in Leafs Nation (what a fucking gay term) since the last post - its the fucking off-season, what do you expect?
The team actually did sign two players since the last time I got off my ass and posted, but they were so minor I didn't think they even warranted a post. The Leafs signed 29-year old Scott Clemmensen, who has only played in 25 NHL games since being drafted in 1997, as well as David Ling - 32 years old, 93 NHL games. Neither of the players will make the big club this year, unless of course Andrew Raysoft is traded and the Leafs are happy with a backup goaltender as shitty as Scott Clemmensen. Although I hope that's not the plan, Leaf fans should be accustomed to offensively shitty back-ups. With Vesa Toskala not having played a full season before, the smart money is on an established NHL back-up goaltender to back him up. Wait a minute, don't we have one of those? Conversely, Mr. Clemmensen has seen less action in the last few years than Scott Stapp. Translation = if Scott Clemmensen is our #2 goaltender this season, we are fucked.
The team actually did sign two players since the last time I got off my ass and posted, but they were so minor I didn't think they even warranted a post. The Leafs signed 29-year old Scott Clemmensen, who has only played in 25 NHL games since being drafted in 1997, as well as David Ling - 32 years old, 93 NHL games. Neither of the players will make the big club this year, unless of course Andrew Raysoft is traded and the Leafs are happy with a backup goaltender as shitty as Scott Clemmensen. Although I hope that's not the plan, Leaf fans should be accustomed to offensively shitty back-ups. With Vesa Toskala not having played a full season before, the smart money is on an established NHL back-up goaltender to back him up. Wait a minute, don't we have one of those? Conversely, Mr. Clemmensen has seen less action in the last few years than Scott Stapp. Translation = if Scott Clemmensen is our #2 goaltender this season, we are fucked.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Free Agent Round-Up
Yanic Perreault is an ex-Leaf. Again. He will not be missed. That isn't to say that he will not contribute to his new team, only that he did not fit in well with the Leafs last season. It seems Perreault was picked up at the trading deadline so that JFJ could say he did something. Something worthwhile? No, just something.
After JFJ traded away young defenseman Brandon Bell to acquire Perreault, he was rarely used by coach Paul Maurice. Even when his best talent could have been used, important faceoffs were still being taken by Mats Sundin. Perreault played fewer than 10 minutes per game and averaged fewer than 10 faceoffs. Trading away an NHL-calibre defenseman for a guy to that sits on the bench is not the best way to improve a team. Maybe next time JFJ and Maurice will communicate a bit before another abortion of a move such as this.
Perreault fans, worry not - if the past is any indication, he will be back. Fuck, do Yanic Perreault fans even exist? If you fashion a couple of bolts to his neck, he'd pass for Frankenstein's monster.
After JFJ traded away young defenseman Brandon Bell to acquire Perreault, he was rarely used by coach Paul Maurice. Even when his best talent could have been used, important faceoffs were still being taken by Mats Sundin. Perreault played fewer than 10 minutes per game and averaged fewer than 10 faceoffs. Trading away an NHL-calibre defenseman for a guy to that sits on the bench is not the best way to improve a team. Maybe next time JFJ and Maurice will communicate a bit before another abortion of a move such as this.
Perreault fans, worry not - if the past is any indication, he will be back. Fuck, do Yanic Perreault fans even exist? If you fashion a couple of bolts to his neck, he'd pass for Frankenstein's monster.
What the hell kind of stupid name is Bates, anyway?
Bates Battaglia has re-upped with the Leafs, signing a 2-year deal at 650k per season. Bates will likely play on the 4th line with The Pope and Chad Kilger.
Battaglia scored 12 goals last season while adding 19 assists. Not impressive numbers, however many of his goals were very timely, great individual efforts, or both.
Not a huge move for the Leafs, but a move that brings back some of Battaglia's much-appreciated energy.
Battaglia scored 12 goals last season while adding 19 assists. Not impressive numbers, however many of his goals were very timely, great individual efforts, or both.
Not a huge move for the Leafs, but a move that brings back some of Battaglia's much-appreciated energy.
The Ugliest Man In The NHL Is Now A Leaf
Well, ole John Ferguson Hooknose has landed a decent free agent, and his name be Jason Blake. This is another move that makes the Buds a better team - next up is getting rid of some dead weight. 'Tis a bittersweet signing, because I personally loved to hate Jason Blake. He seemed to consistently perform well against the Leafs, although his split stats against Toronto don't support that. What this likely means is that Blake is an effective player even when not lighting the lamp. In other words, he is the exact opposite of Bryan McCabe.
With Blake and the previously acquired Mark Bell, the Leafs have upgraded significantly at LW. The best news of the Blake signing may be that the underachieving Jeff O'Neill looks to be out. Their top-12 forwards are finally playoff calibre. Scoring, size, speed, grit - they have it.
Side note: Mr. and Mrs. Bone were in Chicago over the weekend, and finding NHL updates there is harder than getting Siamese twins into a kayak. Fer fucksakes, its an NHL city! I couldn't track any significant free agent signings until crossing the border back into Canada.
With Blake and the previously acquired Mark Bell, the Leafs have upgraded significantly at LW. The best news of the Blake signing may be that the underachieving Jeff O'Neill looks to be out. Their top-12 forwards are finally playoff calibre. Scoring, size, speed, grit - they have it.
Side note: Mr. and Mrs. Bone were in Chicago over the weekend, and finding NHL updates there is harder than getting Siamese twins into a kayak. Fer fucksakes, its an NHL city! I couldn't track any significant free agent signings until crossing the border back into Canada.
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