Changes coming to Hockey Night In Canada

As reported in an earlier post, it appears that Bob Cole and Harry Neale are circling the drain. The Globe & Mail reports that Bob Cole has signed a 2 year transitional contract that will see his workload gradually decline. Harry Neale has inked a 1 year deal, also with a reduced workload.

Thank fuck.

I am one of many Canadians that grew up listening to Bob & Harry call games. Their voices have been the soundtrack to many of my Saturday nights for over 20 years. I am also, however, one of seemingly few Canadians that has noticed their agonizing fall from glory. Their retirement is bittersweet but necessary.

Who will replace the dynamic duo? Who knows. The Globe article speculates that Craig Simpson may leave his assistant coach position with the Oilers to join Hockey Night In Canada, albeit not to replace Cole or Neale, . It's a good thing that CBC has embraced the high-definition widescreen format, as Simpson's head would win first, second, and third place in a cinder block look-alike contest. His mother's vagina is still recovering.

It seems that a change in broadcasters is not all we should expect from HNIC.

The HNIC pre-game show, which mostly consists of a drunk Don Cherry screaming at Ron MacLean, will be jazzed up a bit. CBC has conned a slimy corporate sponsor into associating its name with what will likely be a half hour sit-through of shit. CBC Sports boss Scott Moore explained that he'd like the HNIC pre-game to become a tradition, much like the NFL pre-game ritual is to football fans. Great. By the 2008/2009 season, the show will be so dumbed-down that we'll be used to watching Chad "No, Nickelback does not suck" Kroeger's season-long attempt to eat Foster Hewitt's corpse. FYI Chad, Nickelback most definitely does suck. But I digress...

Also up for some change is the coma-inducing Satellite Hot Stove. Now, I don't know what the fuck hot stoves are, but if the show is any indication, they are fairly shitty. I like that it gives airtime to issues not normally covered by traditional hockey broadcasts, but it is agonizingly boring. Hopefully they will stick to the same type of content but add some excitement. Maybe add another cast member? Better yet, have Erik Duhatschek snort lines of coke from Al Strachan's ass crack.

p.s. Pierre LeBrun, your goatee is way too fucking small for your face. You are on TV now, didn't anyone tell you? Sort yourself out, man!