Lose Leafs Lose!

Well with a loss to the Bruins on Tuesday, the Leafs are now 6 points out of a playoff spot with 5 games left, and they can be mathematically eliminated tonight with a loss against the Bruins.

For the Leafs to make the playoffs now is near impossible, and should not even be considered by the lowest intellect of Leafs Nation. For them to make the playoffs they would have to win each of their final five games, including regulation wins over Boston and Buffalo, have Boston lose the rest of their games, have Washington win just one out of their remaining five, and have both Florida and Buffalo play .500 hockey. Not happening.

So with the Leafs already being out of playoff contention, why not start Raycroft or call up Pogge and give him a few starts? This Leafs club will look drastically different come next year, and Raycroft will likely not be in the picture, so why not audition him so you can actually trade him? Oh right, because he is the worst goalie in the league. So since we are eliminated anyways, give the young guys more ice time and start Raycroft so we get a better draft pick rather than being stuck in no-man's land for the 3rd consecutive year.

Hopefully the new general manager next year will draft some real talent and rebuild this team out of mediocrity.

Stajan Ready For What?!?

Damien, Damien, Damien. The Coxsucker is at it again.

I've been very fair with him recently. I don't think I've mentioned him at all in the last month. I've been ignoring his horseshit journalism because, well, there is so damn much of it that some of the readers thought I was spending too much time on it. With apologies to those readers, I can't ignore his latest steaming pile, in which he suggests Matt Stajan is ready to be the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I feel like printing the article (since I read online, not in the actual newspaper) just so I can wipe my ass with it. After eating Indian food.

Hopefully you'll read Cox's article, because the rest of this post is dedicated exclusively to showing the holes in Cox's article.

First and foremost, please note the following points that give enough ammo to dismiss Cox's entire article:
(1) Matt Stajan doesn't have a contract with the team in place for next season. He is a Restricted Free Agent come July 1, and - despite the recent contract given to the similarly situated Alex Steen - he hasn't been extended. If this team valued Stajan as their next captain, you can be hella sure he'd have a contract by now.
(2) Matt Stajan isn't even an alternate captain. Or an alternate alternate. Bryan McCabe and Tomas Kaberle each wear an 'A' for the Leafs. When one of Sundin, McCabe, or Kaberle doesn't play, Darcy Tucker is next in line to wear the 'A'. Translation: Stajan is at least 4th on management's leadership depth chart.

NHL captains are of two types: the star, who leads by example - Olli Jokinen and Nicklas Lidstrom fit in here - or the gritty, heart-and-soul player - Jason Smith and Tim Taylor go here. Some captains are such studs that they are both, such as Jarome Iginla and Rod Brind'Amour. Matt Stajan is neither of those types of player.

The reality with Stajan is that - on a contending team - he is not talented enough to be a top two centre, nor gritty enough to play a significant checking role. The highly respected Howard Berger recently blogged, "Upgrades are required for both Steen and Stajan." in response to a question about their future with the team. Berger believes going with Steen and Stajan will guarantee mediocrity, yet Cox is yapping about giving the captaincy to one of them.

This isn't to say that Stajan isn't a leader of sorts. As Cox points out, he is the Leafs' NHLPA representative. He's their union guy. That's an admirable thing, but it's important to note that the union rep gig in the NHL is about as coveted as a Church Street bathhouse janitor job. It's a total fucking headache, and most players avoid it like the plague.

I do admire Stajan for taking the job, though. He stepped up when his long-term employment in the league was in question. He got in with the union and is more likely to have a long career because of it...but I don't want to confuse self-preservation with the sort of leadership that breeds an NHL captain. It's very important to note that being a team's union leader is not the same as being a team's leader. Not even close. Cox tries to confound the issue, but the reality is that NHLPA union reps are often marginal players that aren't captain material. For instance, journeyman Mike Johnson was Montreal's union rep last year (during his first year with the team, no less).

Cox's suggestion that Stajan would make a good captain illustrates his lack of knowledge about the game. He is advocating the promotion of a guy that has no business in the core of a winning team. He may one day play on a team that does some playoff damage, but he'll be no more than
support staff. Take it to the bank.

Giving Matt Stajan the 'C' means he'll be a Leaf for a long time. When time to renew his contract, he'd get more than market value because of his role as captain. Any agent is smart enough to pry a little extra skrilla out of team management for the holiest of holy, the captain. This is a touchy issue in Toronto lately, because we already have a few of those overpaid mediocre types. Our recent playoff success should tell you all you need to know about how well overpaying players works in a salary cap NHL.

Stajan does not have the ability to inspire a team. Watch Matt battle for the puck one-on-one and try to picture a team rallying behind him. Watch Matt back down from serious physical contact and try to imagine his leadership translating into playoff success. These aren't traits that embody a captain. While he may be a serviceable NHL player, he'll never be captain material.

Stajan is currently playing the best hockey of his career to be sure. He is a big factor in the Leafs' futile playoff push...their third in as many years since Stajan joined the team full-time. It's worth it to note that Stajan was an absolute ghost for most of this season, back when winning games meant something. Since Mats Sundin's injury - and Stajan's apparent promotion to #1 centre - Stajan has just 3 points in almost 5 games. During the first full game that Mats missed, Stajan was -3.

Stajan's recent play is enough for me to give him another chance next year, when there is nothing on the line. The team will be rebuilding, so I see little harm in having Stajan back. But counting on him as part of the rebuilding core is a recipe for disaster. He simply hasn't shown enough talent, grit, or drive to warrant any guarantees for his future.

As for making him the captain? Well, only a Coxsucker could think something so ridiculous.

So You're Saying We Have A Chance?

Well my facts served themselves to be accurate, as the Leafs beat Buffalo 4-1 on Friday then Ottawa 5-4 on Saturday, both very exciting games.


Both games were without both captain and leading scorer Mats Sundin, and second in scoring Nik Antropov, but the Leafs still pulled through for their 2nd and 3rd straight win. The Leafs improved to 7-3 in March and have now gone 8-0-1 in their last 9 road games.

I watched all of the Buffalo game but I only caught the 3rd period of the Ottawa game but all I can say is that I haven't seen these Leafs play this good in over a year.

The Buffalo game saw Anton Stralman get his first NHL goal, while Toskala played by far his best game of the year, allowing just one goal on 36 shots and making some incredible and timely saves. Stralman, Blake, and Stajan had a goal and a helper a piece.

After losing the first three games of the season series to Ottawa, they have now won four straight against their division and provincial rivals. Down one goal heading into the third period, Tlusty and Stajan scored 42 seconds apart early to put the Leafs ahead 5-4 which would eventually be the final. Staffan Kronwall played in place of Colaiacovo for these two games and had his first career fight against Shean Donovan, but it didn't last much longer than Mr. Bone does having sex. HEY-O!

The two wins moved the Leafs just four points back of 7th place Philadelphia and 8th Boston place, still with Buffalo (81), Washington (82), and Florida (81) sitting between the Leafs and a playoff spot. The Leafs playoff chances will be decided by a home and home series against Boston this week on Tuesday and Thursday. The Bruins have lost their last three games overall and 4 out of their last 5 on the road. The Leafs are now 8-0-1 in their last 9 road games, so they should at least take that game. Once again the odds are with the Leafs to win both games, and the odds worked out pretty good this weekend so hopefully they pull off a couple wins this week to come into a tie for 7th place, depending on how the other teams fair.

Mats Sundin and Boyd Devereaux will both likely be back in the lineup Tuesday, which means a decrease in ice time for Matt Stajan who played #1 centre both weekend games and played 25 minutes Saturday, the most ice time of his career. In the absence of Sundin, Stajan had 2 goals, 1 assist, and a game winning goal Saturday night. I think they should stop riding the 37 year old captain so hard and give the younger players more opportunities, seeing as how they will be the leaders of this team in years to come.

Hurtin' Unit

TSN.ca is reporting that Carlo "I'm more injury prone than Forsberg, Havlat, and Gaborik combined" Colaiacovo will miss the next 4 to 6 weeks with a torn groin muscle. Not that this affects the team that much, already being out of the playoff race, but this guy has got to start doing more conditioning or working out or stretching or something. Fuck Carlo, you play about 30 games a season, and you've injured every part of your body it seems.

Staffan Kronwall has been called up to replace the injured Colaiacovo, who will miss the rest of the season unless the planets align and the Leafs win their final 8 games of the season and the four teams ahead of them do really shitty. Not likely.

Colaiacovo played 28 games this season and had two goals and four assists. In the six years he has been in the NHL he has played just 101 games...that's ridonculous!

Sundin and Antropov are still at least one week away from returning, and Boyd Devereaux could be returning within the next few games as well.

Friday & Saturday Back-to-Back Games: The Leafs finish off their three game road trip this weekend when they travel to Buffalo and Ottawa to (I guess) try to gain as much ground as possible.

- Buffalo has won their past three games, including a 6-2 win over the Leafs last Saturday, and are coming off a crazy comeback to win 7-4 last night after scoring six unanswered goals in the 3rd period.
- The Leafs are 6-0-1 in their last 7 road games.
- Ottawa sucks, their captain is a red-head and their best player killed his friend in a car crash.

Toskala Shits The Bed...With Video!

So yeah. that was probably the funniest thing to happen in the NHL since the Steve Sullivan revenge incident.

Here's a video of the goal. I chose the Sportsnet feed because it has that sweet continuous shot from Davison's stick to the back of the net...175 feet away. I've seen a better camera angle - another continuous shot from just above Toskala's net - but couldn't find it during my search. And by search, I mean 30 second Youtube query.



I think it says alot about Toskala's play this season that nobody in the ruthless Toronto media took any jabs at him for the goal. Notwithstanding the fact that this was probably the softest goal in the history of the NHL, I've seen him let in only a handful of bad goals all season. He plays on a team in the lowest 25% of the league, yet is constantly credited with strong play.

I really think a case could be made for Toskala to win the Leafs MVP this season over Mats Sundin. Mats will win, because he is the captain, longest serving player and fan favourite, but has Vesa contributed any less this season?

Well, maybe. Mats didn't let in a goal from 174 feet away.

Toskala. What the Fuck?

I don't know if I should be cursing in the title, but now is the perfect time.

It's 7:35 and I'm watching the game on Sportsnet.

The Leafs were on a powerplay and just 20 seconds into it, Rob Davison (just three career goals now) from the Islanders dumped the puck down the ice towards Toskala, and the bouncing puck got past Toskala. Don't get me wrong, the puck was bouncing around like a car after prom night, but the shot was from their goal line, and he had about 5 seconds to get ready for it. The play was strange, Toskala was square to the puck the whole time and it was ready to bounce into his glove but instead it bounced to the right and went under his glove and in the net.

I imagine Vesku will be getting some heat for this goal for the rest of the season from Leafs fans and sports casters everywhere. I won't bug him about it, because there was really nothing he could do to predict the way the puck would bounce, and also because he has been incredible in goal all season and his 29-22-6 record is the only thing that kept the Leafs in the playoff race. But needless to say, it is by far the worst goal I have ever seen allowed in my whole life.

Also, as Mr. Bone mentioned, Kyle Okposo (the 'K' is silent, pronounced oh-pose-oh) made his debut tonight for the Islanders but Alex Foster also made his debut tonight for the Leafs and they both looked pretty good out there.

Here is a video of the previous Top 10 worst goals in recent hockey history. Big surprise the Tommy Salo goal is #1, but Vesa Toskala had something to say about that tonight.

Leafs Play Isles. Okposo To Debut. Tlusty To Suck.

The Leafs play the New York Islanders tonight, in another meaningless game. Had things gone right at the trading deadline a few weeks back, the Leafs would be playing against Bryan McCabe tonight. Sadly, McCabe will likely still do as much to help the Islanders win as if he had been traded.

(Side Note: McCabe has 5 goals and 22 points this season. 4 of those goals and 15 of those points have come on the powerplay that he quarterbacked into a bottom five ranking. So, ya, our 5.75 million dollar man has 1 fucking goal and 6 fucking assists at even strength. And, considering that earlier in the year he scored on his own net and gave the puck to an opponent who took it and scored a game-winning overtime breakaway goal, McCabe has -1 goals at even strength. Nicely done, Bryan. Nicely done.)

Both Mats Sundin and Nik Antropov - you know, our top two scorers and 2/3 of the first line - will not play. Instead, Alex Steen will play with Jiri Tlusty and Jeremy Williams. I don't know whether this is still considered the top line when the two best players are out, but one thing is for sure: this line is going to get knocked around more than an Irishman's wife on St. Patrick's Day.

There is really only one reason to watch tonight's game between two non-playoff teams, and that reason goes by the name of Kyle Okposo. The #7 overall pick from the 2006 draft will make his NHL debut tonight after leaving college a couple of months ago and playing at a near point-per-game pace in the AHL. He is the genuine article; considered the next Jarome Iginla by many.

The difference in skill level between the #7 drafted Okposo and the #13 drafted Jiri Tlusty should give any typical Leafs fan reading today a great lesson on the importance of high draft choices. This lesson is sorely needed, as even team management doesn't seem to understand. The Leafs' recent winning streak - with all its faux excitement and futility - only served to reduce the chances of nabbing an Okposo. Adding another Tlusty to this team won't help a damn thing.

Simmons Giving Up The Goods...For Once
On Sunday, Steve Simmons did something he doesn't often do: he wrote something of value. Pondering the Mats Sundin trade that never was, Simmons outed the exact deal that was to be. Deals that don't come to fruition (for whatever reason) do not often become public information.

The deal was Sundin for Christopher Higgins, and Montreal's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks this year.

As if Mats' decision - and subsequent catching fire - didn't sting enough, this deal is like sliding down a razorblade into a pool of salty vinegar. OK, so it isn't as good as the Bobby Ryan + Edmonton's 1st round pick deal that Anaheim may have offered, but that deal was more of a rumour than anything else. Brian Burke even denied it publicly.

This deal, however went right to Sundin. It was the real deal. Christopher Higgins would have stepped into a top 6 forward position right away. Montreal's draft picks would be low (25th overall if the season ended today), but that low pick is a great pick in this year's strong draft. Compare the value of a 24 year old player and three 18 year old prospects to a 37 year old in a one-year deal.

My Two Cents...
This totally isn't Leafs related, but I have no idea how Chris "Impregnated The Local TV News Anchor, Causing A Domestic Dispute So Big It Ran Him Right Out Of Town" Pronger got off so lightly after stomping on Ryan Kesler's leg with his skate. Colin Campbell of the NHL believes that the circumstances were different than the leg stomp that recently landed Chris Simon a 30 game suspension. Believe Campbell if you want to, but one thing to come of the situation is for certain: even the NHL finds a way to dick around natives.

OK Leafs, You've Made Your Point

You played like sacks of shit for 60 games, but it seems that you are indeed capable of playing strong hockey. We get it. But guys, enough with the winning. Are you fucking retarded? If you keep this up, you'll be in the same situation next year. And the year after.

Fuck!

Winning was fine when you started this streak, as you were so far back that it didn't matter. But now you're a win away from 9th place (also called hockey limbo). You're smart enough to know that 8th place simply cannot happen. I mean, you have to see that, right? You have to earn 6 more points than the Flyers in only 10 games. Sure, you're only 5 points behind, but they have more wins, and unfortunately, wins are the tie-breaker. You have to beat them outright. That is as close to impossible as it gets without being mathematically eliminated.

Assume you get all 20 possible points; if Philly gets 15 points in their remaining 11 games, you are still fucked. Does it sound unreasonable that they will go 7-3-1? It doesn't to me. They are 5-2-3 in their last 10 games, and if they go the rest of the way at 6-2-3, they are in, for sure. And, fuck, that is assuming you get every possible point until the end of the season. No fucking way that will happen! Your team is good enough to make it interesting, but not good enough to win 10 straight. You know this.

If you continue to win, you are going to place 9th. And where does that leave you? With a draft pick around 12th - 14th overall - high enough to get a quality player, yet much too low to get a blue-chip prospect. Grab yourself another Jiri Tlusty and you'll be in this same predicament every year. Your draft choice may or may not pan out, and certainly will offer no short-term help.

It's as if you're missing that part of the brain that learns from previous events. Gunning for the playoffs after it's too late - for the third year in a row - is outrageous. It's very noble of you to break out the 'Never Say Die' attitude...after its far too late for it to mean anything. It's a poor choice, and poor choices lead to poor outcomes. Your run toward 9th place is indicative of poor decision-making and short-term thinking. Fer fucksakes, break out of your funk of mediocrity and give us something to cheer for.

I'm not asking you to tank; only to do the things that a team not in the playoffs should. Rest your #1 goalie rather than giving him 23 straight starts. Give more icetime to the young players rather than riding the veterans. Last night Mats Sundin went down with a groin injury - could it be because the coach just played a 37 year old player more than 25 minutes the night before?

I've talked about it in a previous post, but some of that icetime needs to trickle down to the guys trying to earn roster spots for next year. For instance, does Matt Stajan need 20+ minutes per night? We already know what Matt can do - he is a 3rd line centre without the ability to check, and not much more. Can't his icetime be better utilized?

So do we agree then? We'll give you credit for not giving up - giving 110% as you are wont to say - and you do a few of the things that you should be doing anyway to facilitate a better draft pick.

Back-to-Back Wins

Back to back wins against the team we are chasing for the 8th and final playoff spot. Jesus christ boys, where was this effort from October to January?

Even captain Mats Sundin doesn't know what to think
of the way his team is playing.

Tonight - as like last night - Pavel Kubina supplied the Leafs with the game winning goal in a 3-2 victory over the Flyers. And, like last night, the Leafs went out and played some serious hockey and took the win over the team they are chasing for 8th place.

So now, with the Leafs winning both games of the home-and-home against the Flyers they move even closer to a playoff spot and are still grasping on to the pencil-dink sized playoff hopes.

Good News & Bad News x2: The good news first. The Leafs are only one point back of 9th place Buffalo (Lost 7-3 to the Penguins tonight. Nice!), meaning there is just one team they have to jump over before and if they wanna take 8th place. Also, they are only five points back of 8th place Philly, and winning those back-to-backers really helped.

Now the bad news. If you are the pessimistic type, the Leafs still do have to win at least 7 to 10 of their remaining 10 games left, but with those exciting back-to-back wins, they have now put themselves in a position where it is too late to get Stamkos, so shuttup about it. It is still a great draft year overall, and they will get a good pick nonetheless. So why don't you stop bitching and cheer on the Leafs and hope they can get to that 8th spot. If you still think there is a chance of getting that draft pick, the chances are just as good, if not better, of the Leafs making the playoffs. There are 8 teams in the league with less points than us, and two teams tied (Florida and Washington). The lowest place team is 14 points away (LA Kings), and for the Leafs to now get a top 5 pick they would have to play extremely bad, which I wouldn't bet on right now. The other bad news is that Sundin had a muscle strain in the 1st period and left the game and did not return. Real proud of the boys for cowboy-ing up and winning the game without their captain and leading scorer.

The game ahead: I may be dreaming, but if the Flyers lose to the Boston Bruins on Saturday while the Leafs beat the Sabres. We will be just three points back of 8th and would most likely be occupying the 9th spot. Not too much to ask for. I don't know about that Debbie Downer Mr. Bone, but with the distance we are away from getting a top draft pick what is the harm of at least cheering on my favourite team to make the playoffs. Either way this year was a big disappointment, and we would probably get put out in the first round, but what a comeback that would be.

Maurice: I didn't post about last nights game but I really wanna give props to Maurice for finally doing some smart coaching and pulling the goalie when we needed that extra point last night, and then again tonight for not playing Raysoft.

I am heading to Mr. Bone's place for St. Patty's Day weekend tomorrow and we will be watching the game Saturday hoping that the Leafs do the unthinkable, move into 9th place and only three points back. Screw his negativity!

The Nail In The Coffin

And the dream is...............over!

In stunningly obvious news, the Leafs are fucked. They lost 2-1 to the New Jersey Devils on Saturday night and fell further behind the 8th place Philadelphia Flyers. With 12 games to play, the Leafs would need to win them all and get some help in order to make the playoffs, although I'm still not sure why any intelligent fan would want that.

I wonder if the latest loss will convince Paul Maurice to try out his prospects a little more. Prior to the last couple of losses, an argument could have been made that the team had a realistic - albeit tiny - chance of making the post-season. Now no such argument can be made. So, will Jiri Tlusty (4:52 of icetime on Saturday night), Jeremy Williams (3:26), Kris Newbury (3:35) or Robbie Earl (demoted) get some 'showcase' icetime? Will Kyle Wellwood be given an increase in icetime to try to show he is improving from the peewee hockey level he was playing at previously?

Coach Maurice can't use the playoff excuse anymore. And the thing is; it was always bullshit. He damn well knew his team had no chance of making it to the playoffs, but he is fighting for his job and needed something to tell the players. And media. And fans. As far as NHL coaches go, winning = job stability. Maurice knows he's circling the drain, and was riding his veterans into as many wins as possible - to make a case for his future employment - under the guise of making the playoffs. Previously, making the playoffs and keeping a job were the same goal, but now that the playoffs are out of the picture, we'll see how Maurice responds. If the young'uns don't see significant increases in icetime, Paul if officially hurting the team by trying to win his way up to 10th spot...and a lousy draft pick.

There will be a new general manager in Toronto come next season, and Maurice has shown very little potential to lead a winning team. Last year he was forced to play Andy Raycroft a ton, so I'd be willing to give him a mulligan. This year, however, the team signed a legit #1 goalie - whose stats are far superior to Raycroft's a year ago - yet the team is somehow worse. You can give a thousand different excuses, but the numbers don't lie. Paul Maurice has been unable to lead the Toronto Maple Leafs to a winning season. And, since the 2008/09 Leafs will be much the same as this season's version, there isn't much reason to believe he'll be able to do it next year.

Hopefully Paul will treat the rest of the year as if he was returning next year. It would take a helluva man to coach toward an end that is beneficial to the team (better draft pick) yet personally detrimental (loss of job). I believe he could do it and still come out looking good. How? Play the prospects much more - call it a type of try-out - and give Raycroft a handful of games of the last 12. Toskala has never played as many games as this year, and it isn't unreasonable to think it's a good idea to give your #1 goalie some rest when there is nothing to play for.

The Leafs play a home-and-home series on Tuesday and Wednesday nights against the 8th place Flyers. I'd say that these were important games that the Leafs must sweep, but it's much too late for important games. The truly important games were played months ago when the team still had a shot at respectability.

Leafs Play Tonight, But Does Anyone Care?

The Leafs are in Boston tonight to take on the surging Bruins. Only two teams in the league are hotter over their last 10 games than tonight's opponent, probably because most teams literally fall asleep on the ice when they play the Bruins. The good news for the Leafs is that Boston recently lost 10-2 to the Washington Capitals. Even the lowly Leafs haven't surrendered 10 goals in a game this season - not even with Andy Raysoft in goal and Bryan McCabe potting goals into his own net.

So, I may or may not watch the game tonight. I don't know how Bruins fans can watch that shit all season. The Leafs play the Bruins 8 times per year and I come away from the games banging my head against the wall...unless of course I'm totally fucking wasted. A little light bulb just went off in my head: I am going to watch the game. I am going to watch the game drunk. Not just regular drunk, either; Hasselhoff drunk.

Problem solved.

Like manual labour, family Christmas parties, and sex with a fat chick, anything is tolerable when you're really, really wasted.

The Playoffs Pipe Dream
Believe all you want, but reality has to set in some time:

The 8th place Philadelphia Flyers are on pace for 91 points.

The 12th place Toronto Maple Leafs on pace for 82 points.

Thus, as of today, the Leafs need 24 points in their final 14 games to make the playoffs. More importantly, the Leafs have to be 10 points better than the Flyers over 14 games. Even a typical Leafs fan should be able to see that task is harder than Joe Bowen's arteries.

Bottom Line: The Leafs can't give up more than 4 of a possible 28 points until the end of the regular season (also known as the end of the Leafs' season).

MLSE Bans Wilbur

This is a really great story. Bill Watters is being banned from the ACC.

Smile for the camera, Bill. Good, now look over at me. With both eyes.
No, Bill, I need both your eyes over here on me. No, they aren't. One of them is looking out the window.
Huh? Lazy eye? Billy, that thing ain't lazy, it's comatose.

OK, not literally banned, but all AM640 posters that advertise Leafs Lunch and Watters' prime time show The Bill Watters Show are gone, as well as images of Watters that run on the lobby TV screens. They have been replaced with versions that don't mention Wilbur. All ads for AM640 - you know, 'The Official Station of Leafs Nation' - are now void of any pictures of Watters, their #1 hockey guy. How bush league.

Why is this happening, you ask?

Because Wilbur was too hard on MLSE brass. MLSE believes that Watters' attacks on Richard Peddie and Larry Tanenbaum were personal - or, at least that's the bullshit reason they are giving - and as such, they're not allowing him to be advertised in their house. Yep, Peddie and Tanenbaum have taken their ball and gone home.

Anyone familiar with Watters' work knows he isn't afraid to rip into the two Stooges - Watters doesn't mix words and takes every opportunity to point toward MLSE brass as one of the main problems with the team - but since when does pointing out the professional shortcomings of very public figures constitute a 'personal attack'?

When you've hired all the wrong people, made all the wrong decisions, and raped your customers for a decade, you merit a watchdog like Watters to point out your shortcomings. In fact, you merit a few. This is the most irrational banning since NBC fired Norm MacDonald for making jokes at (double murderer) OJ Simpson's expense.

Wilbur was hard on these two dicks because these two dicks deserved it. They've done nothing right, unless you're an MLSE shareholder; they have turned a storied hockey franchise into a soulless money grab.

Wilbur on MLSE:
- "If you lock (Peddie and Tanenbaum) in a room with a basket of apples and a jockstrap, they would starve to death before they figured out how to put the jock on."

- "Until they get those two guys out of there, the hockey team is going nowhere."

- (On Tanenbaum) "He has a PhD: 'Papa Has Dough.'"

I say you keep on it, Billy. You've obviously struck a nerve at MLSE. Have at 'em!

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Playoffs
Here it comes again. Typical Leafs Fans are talkin' playoffs. Even reasonable Leafs fans are starting in; most of Toronto sports media has run with a story about the Leafs' chances.

Here's the truth, Leafs fans: if you believe the Leafs have anything but a mathematical chance at the playoffs, you need a lobotomy...and a kick in the nuts. Also, you probably listen to Nickelback and wear your chain on the outside of your shirt.

Any reasonable mind sees two prohibitive impediments to the Leafs playoff chances. They are:

[1] The numbers. The Leafs have 68 points and will likely need 92 to make the playoffs. Thus, they require 24 points in their final 15 games. They're a team 9 games under .500 playing at a point-per-game clip, thanks to the fact that the league gives out points for losing. The Leafs can lose no more than 3 games in regulation the rest of the way if they want to make the playoffs. They've played well recently, but nobody should believe they can keep it up for 15 more games.

[2] The Leafs are in 12th place, thus they must pass four teams to take 8th place and make the playoffs. The difficulty of jumping over teams to make the playoffs is well-documented, but I find that the reasons behind the difficulty are not. See, not only do the Leafs need to win (in regulation, to avoid the other team gaining that third point) any and all games against the four teams (there are 6 such games), they need to be by far the hottest of the four overall. This is something that most fans miss. The Leafs can get their unrealistic 24 points, but they also must play the best of any of the teams competing for 8th. If any of Philadelphia, Buffalo, NY Islanders, or Washington get hot to end the season, the Leafs are fucked.

So, to believe the Leafs can make the playoffs, you have to believe that they can win more often than the best teams in the league for the rest of the season, and that all the teams ahead of them will collapse.

No. Fucking. Chance.