Leaf Fans: Heads Up Their Asses For 40 Years!

I am as unhappy with the pre-season as anyone else, but the response of the typical Leaf fan still surprises the shit out of me. Would someone be able to tell me how it's possible that the pathetic, ridiculous ideas Leaf fans come up with sound reasonable to them? The following is a partial list of serious ideas brought forth by Leaf fans, via telephone, newspaper, or internet in the last few days:

[1] Because the Leafs let in goals, their defense is unacceptable and they need to immediately trade away McCabe, Kubina, and Gill. Finding a home for gigantic contracts in a salary cap world is simple, as it is of no consequence to other general managers when making deals.

[2] Because our defense is poor defensively, but good offensively, we should put McCabe/Kaberle/Kubina/Colaiacovo up on the wing to play forward. The fact that these are guys that have played nothing but defense for their entire careers shouldn't matter - they'll be fine, and the team will be stronger because of it.

[3] Because there were unrestricted free agents available this off-season, and the Leafs didn't sign all of them, the off-season was a failure. The fact that the Leafs signed one of the more coveted free agents matters not. Whichever free agent ends up performing the best this year is the guy we should have picked up. The fact that the bigger name players absolutely couldn't have fit on our payroll? Inconsequential.

[4] Because neither Leaf goaltender has looked great this pre-season, the team is doomed to finish last. Forget everything else; a poor showing in the pre-season is reason to panic. Moreover, the solution is for the team to trade for other goalies in very similar situations and get rid of the current duo. It's that easy.

[5] Deals made by recent general managers are invariably terrible, and will be the downfall of the team. Because a certain player doesn't perform as well as expected every single game, they are not good enough to wear the jersey. These players should be traded as soon as possible, and other teams will fight eachother to take them.

[6] The Leafs could really use a player like ______ (insert superstar here). Why not trade away ______ (insert mediocre talent here) and _____ (insert slightly above average prospect here) to get him? Remember, Leaf fans never need to think of the other team's incentive to trade away their stars.

[7] Paul Maurice doesn't know what he is doing. His hiring should have meant a complete 180 of the team's direction despite having mostly the same team to work with. Since he only slightly improved the team, he should be fired. Forget that the team made major strides under his regime last season; he didn't bring a Stanley Cup with him to Toronto, and we should go hire Scotty Bowman in his place.

[8] Player X looked really bad last night - the team should either send him to the AHL, or trade him immediately. Decisions made based on one game aren't reactionary or ill-thought out, in fact, they will mean the Cup is coming to Toronto this season.

Fuck. These are only the ideas that I have personally heard or read. I always laugh at the picture of the unusually flamboyant fellow sitting in the unusually flamboyant pose in the unusually flamboyant silk Leafs jersey because at some level it represents the collective ridiculousness of Leafs Nation. I've attached it below.

The Leafs: More Impotent Than Your Grandfather

When I watch Leaf games like the one last night, I feel trapped. Trapped in the sense that I am a lifelong fan - for better or worse - of a team that has shown very few signs of life over my time on the Earth, a team that may never be any better than it is now.

In short, I feel a lot like this lady's groom must feel. Trapped with something you know isn't ideal - something that can be greatly improved on. Can you imagine watching your bride smoke back a hotdog like this (much like the daughter from Coneheads) on her fucking wedding day? Can you imagine marrying someone that looks like this on their best day? Well, imagine all of that doubt and shame, and that's exactly how I feel when I watch my team get taken apart like it did last night, knowing that the team has shown no inclination toward rebuilding or challenging for the top prize, opting instead for a decade of mediocrity.

Besides "FUCK", what is there to say about last night's game? The Leafs were dominated in every aspect of the game by the much better Buffalo Sabres. They limped off the ice after a 7-2 drubbing as one big floppy cock.

"Totally fucking ineffective" is how I'd describe the effort put forth by the team. The only player about whom I have something positive to say was Kris Newbury, and I don't even consider Newbury an NHL calibre player. Newbury was the sole source of energy on the Leaf team - despite only 6:30 of ice time - and did his best to spark his team out of their coma. The problem with Newbury being your best player is that he is a 4th liner; and when the only person doing a reasonable job is a 4th liner, you're going to lose badly, most of the time.

Vesa Toskala was total garbage. Sometimes, when a goalie lets in a bunch of goals, you can justify or qualify a few of them by saying things like 'he had no chance on that one', or 'that one was tipped', or 'he was screened'. Last night, Toskala was the goaltending equivalent of Nickelback - the absolute shittiest example possible. Vesa Toskala has the easiest job in the NHL - he just has to be better than Andrew Raycroft - and he's really shitting the bed thusfar. Want an example? He has let in the first shot of both games he's played.

To put it mildly, Derek Roy and Thomas Vanek anally raped the Leafs last night. Roy had 3G 3A, while Vanek turned in a less dominating but still outstanding 1G 3A.

The saving grace from last night: Pre-season games don't count, and may even scare the Leafs into playing like professionals rather than beer league pylons.

Random Game Notes:
- My attempt at positives after last night's game: Bryan McCabe, Chad Kilger, and Jiri Tlusty were both +1 - not too shabby considering the final score; Alex Steen had 7 of the Leafs' 22 shots; Mats Sundin was 13-4 in faceoffs. It should be noted that all of the players mentioned here turned in fairly terrible performances last night, so take the stats with a grain of salt.

Get Used To It

As expected, the Leafs lost to the Senators last night. Final score 4-3 in overtime. The picture below summarizes Sens/Leafs matches over the last couple of years:


The Leafs, for the most part, looked adequate against the toughest team in the conference. But only adequate. There were, however, agonizing stretches that showed the disparity between the teams, and during those times I realized what it must be like to be a Blue Jackets fan. The Leafs open the regular season with a home-and-home series against the Senators on October 3 and 4. They really need to find a way to beat this team if they hope to succeed this year.

I've read a lot from the Toronto Sports media this morning about just how bad the team looked when the game winning goal was scored, and I have to take issue with that. Jason Spezza did make a nice play setting up the Patrick Eaves goal - but Ottawa was on a powerplay. And, being that it was overtime, it was a 4 on 3 powerplay. What does that mean? That there was much more open ice in which Spezza could skate around. Moreover, it would have been foolish for any Leaf player to chase around the puck carrier whilst shorthanded.

A penalty kill is all about positioning - this is why you always hear about "the box", "the triangle" or the "inverted triangle" depending on how many players you have out there. You're supposed to let the player skate around the periphery with the puck with only a slight challenge. That way, you can cover every other player on the ice...in theory. The real mistake on behalf of the Leafs was that Patrick Eaves was left alone in front, but the media has focused on how Spezza had control of the puck for a lengthy period of time before the puck. What douchebags.

Random Game Notes:
- My notes on Andrew Raycroft from last night began with phrases like "great positioning" and "looking confident" and ended with phrases like "soft goal" and "went down too early". This is Raycroft's career story.

- And, what the fuck was up with Schubert's goal that was 20 mph, along the ice? How do you not save that one when you've gone down in the butterfly position (like you always do)? Answer: you're Andrew Raycroft, you find a way to let it in.

- Hall Gill was again the backbone of two significant Leaf penalty kills - a 4 on 3 and a 5 on 3. Stop it, Hal, my boner is starting to show.

Shootin' Up In Beantown

The Leafs beat the Boston Bruins yesterday, 4-3 in the first shootout of the pre-season. Pavel Kubina - Leaf fans' favourite scapegoat of a year ago - scored the shootout winner in the 7th round.

(This image, taken from the Associated Press, is titled "kubina_gamewinner_seriously_ap_400" - nothing like a respected news source ripping into an athlete for a sub-par season.)

The crowd in Boston was terrible. Being that attendance figures are hard to come by for pre-season games, I'll have to use my best guess...which is about 5,000. There was no Red Sox or Patriots game occurring at the same time. Ouch.

As reported earlier by The Blue & White, Kyle Wellwood is out of the lineup - likely for a month - as a result of another surgery for his sports hernia. An interesting question arises due to Wellwood's absence: who takes his place? Both Simon Gamache (who scored again last night) and Tony Salmelainen are looking for a spot on the team. Both have thusfar been impressive, but were likely heading down to the Marlies, not because they haven't been good enough, rather because they chose to sign with a team without any positions available. Now that has changed. There is a top 6 (scoring line) position available, and if I am calling the shots, one of these two gets a chance to show off.

Random Game Notes:
- John Pohl, Chad Kilger, and Nik Antropov each had two points.

- The shootout - although filled with minor-league talent - was as entertaining as tying two cats' tails together and throwing them over a clothesline. By my count, the Leafs hit 4 posts, but I am including the shots that were along the ground. The Bruins also hit the post twice. Scott Clemmensen was 7 for 7 in saves...with some help from the posts.

- Marc Savard's shootout attempt was one of the more interesting of the shootout's short history. After beating Scott Clemmensen - who barely reacted - Savard's shot hit the crossbar, bounced straight up in the air, came down on the crossbar, bounced out to hit Clemmensen in the back, and stayed out of the net. Crazy.

- Speaking of Marc Savard, he dominated in the faceoff cirle - 19 wins compared to 7 losses.

- Anton Stralman looked much better than he did in previous games. I am beginning to see his potential, although I doubt I'll never agree that he is of Nick Lidstrom calibre. Lidstrom is undoubtedly the best defenseman of the past 10 years. A special, once in a generation d-man.

Another loss!

Remember when a 1-1-1 record meant that you had won as many games as you had lost? In today's NHL, 1-1-1 is actually 1-2, but because the league is giving out points like a Chinese masseuse gives out happy endings, points are awarded for overtime losses. I think it's a supremely shitty rule.

In any event, the Leafs lost to Phoenix last night, 3-2. Maybe my headline after last night's game was a little premature - the 'Yotes aren't as untalented as a retarded ballerina...maybe more like an autistic ballerina.

The game was Vesa Toskala's first action as a Maple Leaf. He looked very average, although 2 of his 3 goals allowed were powerplay goals. Andrew Raycroft looked better the night before, his propensity for going down notwithstanding. I'm definitely not ready to jump ship on Toskala - I really believe he is the undisputed #1 goalie on the team - but there is no question he'll need to play better to instill some confidence in the coach and the fans.

Last night was also the first time Leaf fans were introduced to Anton Stralman. I've heard the comparisons to Nicklas Lidstrom and Borje Salming, but last night Stralman did not stand out. Really, it would be ridiculous to expect that a 21 year old defenseman would stand out, especially in his first taste of North American hockey. Toronto media has been entertaining the idea that Stralman might make the Leaf team this year (because, apparently, he is that good) but the fact is that he'd have to be the product of Nicklas Lidstrom and Borje Salming's man-love to have any shot, for a couple of reasons: [1] Defensemen mature much later than forwards, and while most forwards are ready by 21, most defensemen are not. [2] The Leafs are quite deep at the defense position, and both Andy Wozniewski and Staffan Kronwall are currently ahead of Stralman on the depth chart and also happen looking for employment on the big team.

Random Game Notes:
- The Leafs dominated in the faceoff circle, winning a whopping 62% of draws. Quite surprising considering that both of the Leafs' top centremen - Mats Sundin and Kyle Wellwood - were out of the lineup last night. Potential 4th line fill-in Kris Newbury won 7 of 8. BAM!

- Kyle Wellwood has an ambiguous 'lower-body injury' that, frankly, scares the shit out of me. After one fucking game in the pre-season, he is already hurting. The Leafs will rely heavily on Wellwood's production as the #2 centre this year, and they simply cannot afford to have him miss much time. Update: Bill Watters reported on Leafs Lunch today that Wellwood's injury is "much more severe than originally thought". Apparently Billy has a "reliable source" that tells him that Wellwood is in great, constant pain and cannot skate. He goes on to say that Wellwood will likely require surgery in the near future. Fucking fuck.

The Phoenix Coyotes: About as Talented as a Retarded Ballerina

The Leafs are at .500 for the first time this season. OK, so it's the pre-season, and it's only 2 games in, but a win is a win is a win.

The Leafs narrowly beat the Coyotes last night - final score 3-2. The Leaf team that competed last night was almost entirely different than the one that lost to Edmonton two nights ago.

Many Toronto media outlets have reported storied of how good the Leafs' top line looked together. I think I must have missed something (which may have had something to do with the tallboys of Carlsberg that ended up empty on my living room floor), but it seems that the Sundin/Blake/Antropov line chemistry has been glorified. The line scored, and didn't look terrible, but certainly didn't play well enough to merit top billing on every sports page in the city.

Random Game Notes:
- Simon Gamache absolutely fucking drilled Daniel "4th Liner On What Will Probably Be The Worst Team In The League" Carcillo, who fell over like a drunk native. It should be noted that the hit was probably interference, and that I am pretty sure Wayne Gretzky cried when a penalty wasn't called. Note to Wayne: you used to be the best player in the game (and probably the best ever) but you're just a mediocre coach now - whining isn't going to get you anywhere. Cowboy up.

- Hal Gill gives me a boner sometimes. Is there anyone in the league you'd rather have out there when down 2 men? Not I. When the puck is down low, Gill gets down on one knee and lays his stick in seemingly every possible passing lane, leaving the puck carrier with very few options. Then, when the puck gets passed back to the blueline (which is inevitable because he has blocked all passing lanes down low) he stands up and knocks bodies around in front of the net. Fuck yeah!

- OK, the above mentioned Gill also kind of shit the bed last night - a Gill giveaway directly lead to a 'Yotes goal.

- After watching the goal that resulted from Gill's giveaway, I have (prematurely) decided that Andrew Raycroft is still fairly bad. One game isn't enough time to come to that conclusion, but hear me out: Gill's clearing attempt went onto the stick of 9th round pick Daniel Winnik (0 NHL experience, 1 year of AHL experience). Not a superstar by any means. Instead of challenging the inexperienced player coming at him, Raycroft went down just as the shot zipped over his shoulder. What the fuck? Andrew, have you not figured out the hole in your game? You fucking go down far too often!! Every team in the league knows it. Every team in the league shoots high on you. Every fucking time. Don't you notice a pattern? Are we going to have to tie you to the posts like the fat kid from The Might Ducks movie? This critique doesn't belong this early in the season, but I feel OK about it as it deals with longstanding issues. Andy, buddy, look at your game: you are good positionally; you are quick; you see the game well; and you have the mental make-up of a #1 goalie. So, why did your boss trade away a 13th overall pick (and change) to pick up a better goaltender? Because every fucking team in the league has identified your major weakness, and they exploit it on every opportunity.

In any event, the Leafs won their first of the year, so I will stop Gretzky-ing about Raycroft's play and fuck off for now.

The Leafs are on pace to win 0 games this pre-season

In their first pre-season game of the year, the Leafs lost to the Oilers 3-2 in overtime.

Both teams were missing a significant amount of talent, so it is tough to take too much away from the game. On the winning team, Robert Nilsson was clearly the best player, despite a 3-point performance by Shawn Horcoff.

As for the Leafs, I noticed three players that stood out:
[1] Matt Stajan - If you've ever read The Blue & White before, you know that we show very little love for Stajan. Very little. About the same amount of love you'd get from a girl if you got gum in her hair. Last night, however, Stajan looked stronger and faster than ever before. He was getting through checks and winning battles for the puck that he previously wouldn't have, and looking much more confident all around. His best play was at 11:15 of the first period, when Stajan split the Oilers D and drove to the net, forcing Denis Grebeshkov to take him down for a penalty. It was a strong, confident play that Stajan is not known for. Could the reports of Stajan's off-season workouts making him a better player actually be true? I fucking hope so - having the Matt Stajan that played last night stay with the team the entire season would be a gigantic improvement over the Matt Stajan of years past.

[2] Justin Pogge - In this, his first NHL game, he simply looked like he belonged. He made several very solid (although not spectacular) saves throughout the game. He was well-positioned and looked much more comfortable in the crease than what I saw of him last season with the Marlies. He too seems to have benefited from a productive off-season. He did take the loss, however he probably deserved better. The first Oiler goal came on a 5 on 3 and the puck took a bit of a weird bounce right onto the stick of Trukhno. Overall, a good game for someone likely trying to shake off the butterflies.

[3] Simon Gamache - Not as impressive as Stajan, but stood out nonetheless. This is a guy that is fighting for a job on the Leafs, and has made no bones about the fact that he badly wants to play in the NHL over the AHL. I've not seen Gamache play very much before tonight, and was quite impressed by his speed and grit. His career numbers show that he has offensive upside to go with what I saw last night. Watching Gamache, I found myself saying "How do they not give this guy a shot on the big team?" Reports around training camp have Gamache impressing both the coaching staff and the players. It seems that if he continues down this road, it'd be quite difficult not to find a spot for him, especially considering Mark Bell's 15 game suspension to begin the year.

Random Game Notes
- Both Toronto goals were quite nice. Ponikarovski scored on a breakaway with an amazing head fake to backhand move, putting the puck over Garon's blocker. Exceptional puck placement. McCabe's goal was as nice as any I've ever seen him score. He used Tlusty as a decoy, skated in, and blasted a slap shot over Dubnyk's blocker. Another perfect shot placement; made a nice sound hitting the bar on the way in.

- Anson Carter apparently suffered a concussion in last night's game. There was one sequence wherein Belak and Carter were battling for the puck, and Newbury skated in to hammer Carter off his feet. Carter immediately took a retaliatory penalty, and during the delay before the whistle was blown. Belak knocked him down again with a solid check. I reckon this is where the injury took place.

- I hate to start on Harry Neale already, but since the lockout he has been incorrectly identifying plays more and more often. Last night, Ponikarovsky took a holding penalty in the Edmonton end when he hooked/held the D-man that had the puck. After the ref had signaled a holding infraction, Harry actually made a point of saying (paraphrased here, but reasonably accurate), "I don't understand this call; giving an interference penalty for chasing the puck carrier..." Well, I suppose it's easy not to understand the call, because there was absolutely no indication of an interference call. Obviously not a huge mistake, but a very common one for Neale. Fuck, I correctly identified the call from my couch after 6 beers - it wasn't like decoding KGB spy messages. It may be a long season, as Harry will be doing the colour commentary for the majority of Leaf games.

Next Game: Wednesday, September 19 (tonight!) vs. Phoenix (in Winnipeg)

The Pre-season: Slightly better than the off-season.

Tonight marks the Leafs' first preseason game. The Leafs are in Edmonton (home of Chris Pronger. Err, make that home of Michael Nylander. I mean, home of Thomas Vanek. Fuck!) to take on the Oilers.

The game begins at 9pm and can been viewed only on LeafsTV. Translated for the average Leafs fan: She goes at 9 and you'se can watch 'er on LeafsTV.

Justin Pogge will get the start tonight for the Leafs - and don't expect to see Mats Sundin either. As always, preseason games are more of a tryout for players that are vying for a spot on the team. In this morning's Toronto Sun, such players were referred to as 'bubble boys'. Ahhh, a term popularized by a 90's sitcom. Who writes this shit? Next up is an "I'll be back" Terminator reference when one of the fringe players is inevitably sent down. Then an especially lame Mike Myers reference that'll go something like, "Matt Stajan deserves to play in the NHL...not!". Seriously, Toronto Sun editors, sort yourselves the fuck out.

I am going to go on a bit of a tangent here...you'll just have to deal with it. The Toronto Sun is the bane of my existence. Seriously, the worst newsrag ever. There are very few people that possess an IQ over 60 that read it. You'll find the Sun on construction sites and in McDonald's employee rooms everywhere...but not in your CEO's office - unless he (or she) is shopping for a stereo and/or a hooker. It's journalism at its worst.

My problem is that the Sports section is actually pretty good. It's the most comprehensive sports section in the city. So, I have to pass on decent sports coverage, or endure the lame headlines, poor proof-reading, and pig-faced Sunshine Girls. I mean, what kind of newspaper features a half-naked girl every day?

In any event, do yourself a favour and buy LeafsTV for the season. I've heard a lot from the "I'll never pay extra to watch the Leafs" camp; and I used to be part of it. But, the fact is that LeafsTV has had exclusive rights to more games each season since its inception. Aside from being the only place to watch preseason games, they aired 8 games (I believe) the year after the lockout, to 12 last year, to 20 this year. It's not going away; in fact, the opposite is true. Give LeafsTV a decade and you won't be able to watch Leaf games anywhere else - except maybe Hockey Night In Canada.

It's only $2.50 a month, and can be added or taken off instantly - how can any Leafs fan not have it? Oh right, the fact that $2.50 a month represents a large percentage of the average Leaf fan's salary.

New jerseys

The new "Rbk Edge" Toronto Maple Leaf jerseys were officially unveiled and as most reports suggested, there were few changes to the old uniforms.

The horizontal stripes along the bottom of the jerseys are gone, and there is a stripe on the cuff - I believe the cuff stripe is new.

These new jerseys are very minimalist, even when compared to the old version. Looking at the new jerseys, they are really look like the jerseys worn by the Leafs back in the time when they had the logo featured in The Blue & White's title bar. A real classic look.

I like that the Leafs will remain as one of the few teams with classic (ie. simple) uniforms. They'll continue to put the busy, Spengler Cup-esque jerseys of teams like Atlanta and Columbus to shame.

The jerseys are selling for $250 at NHL.com. Holy fucking fuck.

New jerseys to be unveiled today

Today at 3pm, the Maple Leafs are officially unveiling their new, streamlined uniforms. Watch it on LeafsTV if you're interested.

All reports that precede their first public appearance have warned of no major changes. I have heard reports of a very slight change to the colour scheme, as well as a change to the lines at the bottom of the jersey. Seems like just enough change to get those with more money than brains to shell out a few hundred bones to have the 'new' look jersey.

More to come on this one. Pictures will be posted when available.

David Shoalts, what the fuck were you thinking?

<-- SEPARATED AT BIRTH?!?! -->






David Shoalts' latest article, Question marks surround Leafs, is totally fucked. It is so bad, in fact, that I swore I was reading it at sportsnet.ca.

The article describes Shoalts' opinion that there are several telltale signs in place that point to this being the Leafs' last chance at success before a rebuilding. He points to JFJ's lack of contract extension, the search for a mentor to the GM, and Mats Sundin's one-year deal as potentially ominous signs of impending doom. Shoalts tells us that Leafs brass could pull the plug and begin to rebuild the team from the General Manager down.

With that, I take no issue - let's face it, the moves are entirely possible. The Leafs squad of late is simply not good enough to win a Stanley Cup. Several positive moves were made in the off-season, but this likely translates only into a playoff berth - a Cup is still far away.

Shoalts' article is the journalistic equivalent of a Turkish Homerun on almost every other front. Especially shitty selections are copied below in italics.


"Ferguson's problem is two-fold. First, despite some decent moves on his part, the Leafs are not dramatically better than they were last season, when they finished one point out of the playoffs. Second, as in too many other seasons, the GM is left hoping several long-shot gambles pay off in order for the team to make the playoffs."

Fuck, Shoalts. How do you concede that the GM made 'decent moves', mention that the team missed the playoffs by only one point, then go on to say 'several long-shot gambles' must pay off in order to make the playoffs this year? Add in the fact that the team that took the final playoff position last season (New York Islanders) is significantly worse, your logic simply doesn't hold water.


"Forget any thoughts of Bell making a significant contribution, even if his suspension for alcohol problems is lifted. He was put on the first line by two teams last season and could not score, even with Sharks star Joe Thornton as his centre."

Very interesting, Shoalts. Mark Bell was put on the first line by two teams last season? Interesting indeed, as Mark Bell only played for one team last season - the San Jose Sharks. How does an error like this get printed? Proof-read your stories, Dave. Mark Bell was part of the first line in Chicago two seasons ago - potentially that is where Shoalts' error stemmed from - but let us not forget that Bell's last season in Chicago was a 25 goal campaign that had him pegged as one of the NHL's top up-and-coming power forwards.

Moreover, I am officially calling shenanigans on the Mark-Bell-did-fuck-all-last season-and-played-with-Joe-Thornton stories. The fact is that Mark Bell saw very limited time with Thornton and Cheechoo last season. He didn't play well last year, and that is not being questioned here, but Mark Bell was stuck on the 4th line for the majority of the season, playing well under 10 minutes per game. Fuck you, David Shoalts, for insinuating that Mark Bell shit the bed while playing on one of the best lines in hockey. For the majority of the season, it simply didn't happen that way.


"All he's done so far is prove he was a bargain for the San Jose Sharks at $1.375-million (U.S.) a year. Toskala took the starter's job away from Evgeni Nabokov for long stretches, but the most regular-season appearances he made was 38, and come the playoffs last spring, Nabokov was the Sharks' man."

This must be one of the 'long-shot gambles' - along with Mark Bell - that Shoalts mentioned above. I will assume it is, as if not for Bell and Toskala, who exactly are the long shots?
Again, I don't understand Shoalts' approach. Concede that Vesa Toskala stole the #1 job from Evgeni Nabokov (a really fucking good goaltender) for 'long stretches' but also mention that he is an unproven gamble. More information from Shoalts would give insight into the realities involved:
(1) Toskala hasn't made more than 38 regular season appearances because he was in a platoon situation (again, with a really fucking good goaltender) for the few seasons he's been in the NHL. When Edmonton picked up Dwayne Roloson from a platoon situation in Minnesota, we didn't hear about how risky it was. Roloson promptly took the Oilers to the Cup final. The teams that are after Ilya Bryzgalov don't seem to be worried about the lack of experience, either.
(2) Evgeni Nabokov was the playoff goaltender only because an injury to Toskala opened the door for him. Toskala had firmly been the #1 goaltender in San Jose in the stretch previous to his injury.
(3) Toskala has improved his win totals every season in the league.


"By paying free-agent winger Jason Blake $5-million, the GM is hoping the 34-year-old can hit 40 goals for the second time, although the Leafs should be happy with 30."

OK, Dave, the Leafs technically are paying Jason Blake $5 million this season, but that is an irrelevant figure. Blake signed a 5-year deal that pays him $20 million. The number that matters is Blake's average salary - the amount that counts against the salary cap - which is $4 million. Giving Blake $5 million in his first season (and $4.5 million in the second and third seasons) means Blake will earn $3 million during the final two seasons as a Leaf. Front-loading Blake's salary translates into an easier buyout should he not produce during those final two seasons when he is in his late 30's. Seems to be a (rare) smart move on the GM's part. And since when is a 30 goal scorer something to sneeze at?

Northeast Division Preview

With training camps officially opening next week, and many unofficial workouts already in progress, it's high time that The Blue & White previewed the division.

Boston Bruins

They have added #1 goalie Manny Fernandez, and got a nice return for Shean Donovan in Peter Schaefer. This makes the Bruins a better team in 07/08 than it was in 06/07. The Bruins, however, were near the bottom of the league both in offense and defense last year on their way to a last place finish in the division.
The biggest change in Boston during the offseason was the arrival of Manny Fernandez, who is a definite improvement on one of the leagues shortest fuses, Tim Thomas. Thomas' 3.13 GAA from last season was ugly, but on the other hand he was a top 5 goaltender in shootouts. Manny will shave off some goals against this year and the Bruins just might finish ahead of Montreal for 4th place in the division.
Bottom Line: They have not done enough to compete for the playoffs this year.


Buffalo Sabres

Arguably the league's biggest losers in the offseason. Buffalo lost Daniel Briere and Chris Drury - their #1 and #2 centres - but boasted the deepest forward unit in the league last year. Their 308 goals for was far and away the best in the league. Moreover, Danius Zubrus (a natural centre who had been playing the wing in Buffalo) split for New Jersey. Good thing for Buffalo they have ridiculous depth at the forward position. Drew Stafford and Clarke MacArthur will step into full-time roles, and Tim Connolly will be counted on to offset the loss of the big two centres. They'll likely not lead the league in goals, but they'll still be far above-average. After all, Ryan Miller is still between the pipes and their underrated defense is still in tact.
Bottom Line: Although weakened by free-agent losses, Buffalo is still strong and should have no problems finishing 2nd in the division.


Montreal Canadiens

Lucky for Montreal, Buffalo's bedshitting in the offseason overshadows their own. The Habs lost Sheldon Souray's 26 goals (and leadership) that they are trying to replace with Roman Hamrlik. Ouch. Also, Sergei Samsonov, their biggest free-agent acquisition a year ago was run out of town. Can't really blame them on that one. Additions to the team are either rookies or minor, aging pieces.
Carey Price, challenging for the backup role out of training camp, is the real deal, and may take over the starting goaltending duties by season's end. Chris Huet and his Al-Pacino-slicked-back haircut is little more than Price's placeholder from here on.
Bottom Line: Montreal is in some real trouble this year. A 5th place finish unless their crop of young'uns really steps up.


Ottawa Senators

The class of the Northeast Division. Sure, they lost Tom Preissing, Mike Comrie, and Peter Schaefer - a tall order for some teams - but all three were minor players on the Senators. The team hasn't made any major additions or subtractions in the offseason, which suits the Stanley Cup finalists just fine. If Ottawa can rid itself of Martin Gerber's contract, they'll be able to pick up another player that will likely make them unstoppable.
The Wade Redden storyline continues in Ottawa - is he staying or is he going? Well, it says here that he's going this year. He is a free agent at year's end, along with 11 other Senators, including Dany Heatley and Jason Spezza. How the fuck can they afford to bring back Heatley, Spezza, and Redden you ask? They can't, and the smart money is on keeping the dominant first line in tact - Bryan Murray is smart enough to get something back for Redden via trade rather than lose him for nothing.
Bottom Line: Ottawa is still really fucking good, and should beat out Buffalo for a first place finish in the division.


Toronto Maple Leafs

Picking up Vesa Toskala, Jason Blake, and Mark Bell have made the team much stronger. After placing a respectable 4th in the conference (in goals for) last season, the Leafs should better last year's 258 goals. Moreover, Vesa Toskala should cut down a few from the Leafs' abysmal 268 goals against (6th worst!) from last year.
The Leafs defense, although no different from last year, stands to improve. 2006/07 saw brutal years from Bryan McCabe (defensively) and Pavel Kubina (offensively...and defensively), as well as first full NHL seasons for Ian White and Carlo Colaiacovo. Still offensive minded as a whole, the Leafs defense is not nearly as bad defensively as they are made out to be.
The Leafs did lose Mike Peca, but he barely played last season due to a knee injury. The loss of his penalty killing prowess will be softened by Jason Blake's skillz.
Let's not forget the importance of playing 41 home games on improved ice.
Bottom Line: After missing the playoffs by a single point last year, the Leafs will finish 3rd in the division and (finally) get back into the second season.

Please, Toronto media, no more lame references to his last name!

...it's not a type of food poisoning; and no, it's not funny to insinuate that it is.

The Leafs signed Tony Salmelainen to a two-way contract late last week. The two-way status of his contract means he'll begin the year with the Marlies. And likely finish the season there too. Barring the trade of a top 12 forward, Salmelainen will only see time in the NHL as an injury replacement. Even then, he may not be the first call-up, as others, including Jeremy Williams are NHL-ready.

Personally, I believe that adding talent to the wings is something that the Leafs could benefit from. Please don't confuse that statement with the typical Leafs Nation point-of-view, wherein trading for a superstar winger such as Ilya Kovalchuk or Dany Heatley is not only possible, but realistic. Rather, it says here that there are options (Salmelainen or not) on the Marlies that could add skill to the team. The Leafs are often criticized - rightly so - for having a glut of 3rd and 4th line talent, most of which naturally belongs at the centre position. Would it not make sense to drop a mediocre talent from the team in order to make room for some skill at its natural wing position?

Salmelainen, while clearly not the abovementioned Kovalchuk or Heatley, still has upside. In 2006, he was the MVP in Finland. His year with Chicago and Montreal was his first full season in the NHL. His 6G 11A totals impress no-one, but are promising when broken down by time on the ice.

His average icetime over the entire season was under 10 minutes. Not a lot. The following chart (whipped up by yours truly using mad Excel skillz, yo) shows his performance broken down by time on ice:


Compare his goals per game when playing over 14 minutes to notable players:
Joe Sakic (0.44); Sidney Crosby (0.46); Jaromir Jagr (0.37); Eric Staal (0.37).

Or, his points per game compared to notables: Zach Parise (0.76); Markus Naslund (0.73); Scott Gomez (0.83); Mark Recchi (0.83)

Obviously, putting up these numbers over an entire season or more is far different than over 12 games, and this analysis is about as unscientific as one can get, but the numbers show that when given icetime, Salmelainen can perform fairly well at the NHL level.

Mark Bell to be suspended?

Today it is being reported that Mark Bell has been suspended by the NHL, and that a formal announcement to that effect will come later today.

The suspension is being reported as stemming from his DUI last year, for which he will (apparently) spend time in jail. Being that the story involves a hockey player that plays for the Leafs - a team that plays in the same city that the majority of news outlets in the country also reside - it is being sensationalized.

After looking into the current collective bargaining agreement (CBA), it seems that this suspension is quite normal for a player that has been convicted of such an off-ice crime. That is; the league hasn't chosen to suspend Mark Bell because his actions were especially egregious - or because he has relapsed - rather the league by-laws mandate an investigation into a suspension.

His reinstatement to the league depends on approval by the NHL and the NHLPA. Considering that Bell has cleaned his act up significantly since the accident - including being 100% sober - it says here that Bell will be reinstated before the start of the regular season. Bell's plea bargain automatically enrolled him in Stage 2 of the NHL's Substance Abuse and Behavioural Health program - through which such a suspension is automatic. Contrary to the alarming language being used at news outlets across the country, he shouldn't miss anything of significance. I predict he'll be in the Leafs' opening night roster. Bones it.