The Phoenix Coyotes: About as Talented as a Retarded Ballerina

The Leafs are at .500 for the first time this season. OK, so it's the pre-season, and it's only 2 games in, but a win is a win is a win.

The Leafs narrowly beat the Coyotes last night - final score 3-2. The Leaf team that competed last night was almost entirely different than the one that lost to Edmonton two nights ago.

Many Toronto media outlets have reported storied of how good the Leafs' top line looked together. I think I must have missed something (which may have had something to do with the tallboys of Carlsberg that ended up empty on my living room floor), but it seems that the Sundin/Blake/Antropov line chemistry has been glorified. The line scored, and didn't look terrible, but certainly didn't play well enough to merit top billing on every sports page in the city.

Random Game Notes:
- Simon Gamache absolutely fucking drilled Daniel "4th Liner On What Will Probably Be The Worst Team In The League" Carcillo, who fell over like a drunk native. It should be noted that the hit was probably interference, and that I am pretty sure Wayne Gretzky cried when a penalty wasn't called. Note to Wayne: you used to be the best player in the game (and probably the best ever) but you're just a mediocre coach now - whining isn't going to get you anywhere. Cowboy up.

- Hal Gill gives me a boner sometimes. Is there anyone in the league you'd rather have out there when down 2 men? Not I. When the puck is down low, Gill gets down on one knee and lays his stick in seemingly every possible passing lane, leaving the puck carrier with very few options. Then, when the puck gets passed back to the blueline (which is inevitable because he has blocked all passing lanes down low) he stands up and knocks bodies around in front of the net. Fuck yeah!

- OK, the above mentioned Gill also kind of shit the bed last night - a Gill giveaway directly lead to a 'Yotes goal.

- After watching the goal that resulted from Gill's giveaway, I have (prematurely) decided that Andrew Raycroft is still fairly bad. One game isn't enough time to come to that conclusion, but hear me out: Gill's clearing attempt went onto the stick of 9th round pick Daniel Winnik (0 NHL experience, 1 year of AHL experience). Not a superstar by any means. Instead of challenging the inexperienced player coming at him, Raycroft went down just as the shot zipped over his shoulder. What the fuck? Andrew, have you not figured out the hole in your game? You fucking go down far too often!! Every team in the league knows it. Every team in the league shoots high on you. Every fucking time. Don't you notice a pattern? Are we going to have to tie you to the posts like the fat kid from The Might Ducks movie? This critique doesn't belong this early in the season, but I feel OK about it as it deals with longstanding issues. Andy, buddy, look at your game: you are good positionally; you are quick; you see the game well; and you have the mental make-up of a #1 goalie. So, why did your boss trade away a 13th overall pick (and change) to pick up a better goaltender? Because every fucking team in the league has identified your major weakness, and they exploit it on every opportunity.

In any event, the Leafs won their first of the year, so I will stop Gretzky-ing about Raycroft's play and fuck off for now.