2007/08 Projections

Below are projections for the upcoming season for the Leafs, from The Hockey News Ultimate Pool Guide 2007-08. Last year they predicted the Calgary Flames would win the Stanley Cup, with Jarome Iginla winning the Conn Smythe. So, take it for what you will.

Nik Antropov
66GP 16G 18A 33P

Bates Battaglia
80GP 13G 15A 28P

Mark Bell
78GP 16G 17A 33P

Jason Blake
80GP 37G 32A 69P

Carlo Colaiacovo
72GP 1OG 22A 32P

Tomas Kaberle
78GP 10G 52A 62P

Chad Kilger
79GP 15G 15A 30P

Pavel Kubina
72GP 11G 18A 29P

Bryan McCabe
75GP 17G 45A 62P

John Pohl
75GP 13G 13A 26P

Alexei Ponikarovsky
77GP 20G 20A 40P

Matt Stajan
81GP 15G 32A 47P

Alex Steen
80GP 23G 28A 51P

Mats Sundin
76GP 31G 47A 78P

Darcy Tucker
70GP 25G 25A 50P

Kyle Wellwood
80GP 22G 48A 70P

Ian White
77GP 7G 23A 30P

It should be noted that players projected to rack up less than 30 points were not included, which is why you don't see Hal Gill or Boyd Devereaux

Here is how they have projected the netminders:

Andrew Raycroft
10 Wins
3.00 GAA .900 SV% 1 SO

Vesa Toskala
31 Wins
2.55 GAA .909 SV% 4 SO

The Leafs are projected to end up 8th place in the Eastern Conference. Even the experts have us making the playoffs. Ottawa is projected to place 1st - then win the Cup - so we're obviously not expected to do much once in the playoffs.

Not just failed potential?

Found an interesting article today about Boyd Devereaux. It seems that Boyd owns a record company called Elevation Recordings. The description of the label (their words from their website):

Elevation is a new psyche/nopise [sic]/freakout/pop/heavy label dedicated to nothing more than the love of this kind of music. All releases will be limited from anywhere from 1-5000 copies and will not be reprinted when sold through.

I don't have too much to say about this, as the label has only released two EPs, neither of which I have heard. It should be noted, however, that Elevation has a release planned with Matt Cameron's (yes, THAT Matt Cameron) Wellwater Conspiracy. Neat-o.

I always like to hear about hockey players that aren't one dimensional. By that, I mean having a hobby /second career; like how Sidney Crosby has a clothing line. Or how Sheldon Souray beats his wife.

Well played, sir

Jeff Marek, host of AM 640's Leafs Lunch really fucking impressed me today. When Jeffy went to the phones to take calls from listeners, a particularly dull gentleman called in. The caller's inability to string together a few words in English - not because English was his second language, but because his brain has only even been used to mop floors - combined with his complete lack of hockey knowledge, made two things obvious quite fast:

[1] He was an average Leafs fan.
[2] He was probably from Keswick.

As I began to laugh at the man's obvious lack of intelligence, while feeling vastly superior at the same time, it happened...Jeff Marek totally fucking ripped into him. The first attack came unannounced: "Welcome to Darwin's waiting room." Then, before the dullard even realized he was being made a fool of, the fatal blow came: "Are you the third or fourth generation of your family to walk upright?" BURN!

What impresses me the most is that Marek is the Director of Sports Programming at AM 640 Toronto - he's the boss! Imagine if your boss talked to clients like that?! Bones it!

TSN's look at Canada's six NHL teams...is rubbish

We all love to hear about our favourite NHL team, regardless of the time of year. So, I was intrigued to see TSN's "summer six-pack, an online synopsis with all the reports on where your favourite Canadian team is going this season." Intrigued, that is, until I read the article.

Summer six-pack? I'd take issue with TSN's bullshit Poochie-The-Dog-esque jargon if I didn't know that deep down, many hockey fans were actually impressed that they equated the number of Canadian NHL teams with the number of beers in a case. Brutal.

All the reports on where my favourite NHL team is going this season: those are their words, not mine. The report that followed was no more than a recap of the offseason moves by the Leafs. In short, there was no information at all about where the team is going . Not a stab at where they'd finish, not even analysis of what they still need to upgrade. Nothing.

The only opinion that the article offered was on goaltending; that Andrew Raycroft is the #1 goaltender until he loses the job to Vesa Toskala. The fact is that there is no goaltending controversy in Toronto. Vesa Toskala is the #1 goaltender. He took the starting goaltender position from Andrew Raycroft the day he was acquired from San Jose. No general manager, not even John Ferguson Hooknose, trades away three draft choices (including a 13th overall pick) to acquire a back-up, or even platoon goaltender, especially not when there was an abundance of potential first string goalies to be had (ie. Manny Fernandez, Ilya Bryzgalov).

An intelligent sports fan should be wary of anything written by TSN. After all, TSN's job is to report the sports news, not to create sports news. At tsn.ca, however, they are all too willing to forget their role and pretend they are The Hockey News. The article that I am shitting on today wasn't written by any of TSN's "hockey experts", rather just by "tsn.ca Staff". It'd be interesting to know which part of tsn.ca staff wrote the article - was it, say, Bob McKenzie, or the guy that mops the floors in the washroom after Gino Reda drops a deuce? Judging by the content in the article - and at tsn.ca as a whole - I'd guess the latter.

2006/07 Season Highlights

Found this over at HockeyBuzz.com and thought it may be of interest here. All of you favourite moments are there, but some of the 'highlights' are unspectacular at best. The vids could be shorter - we didn't make the playoffs, after all.

Part I


Part II

Hey Mark, watch out for your corn hole, buddy

According to Sportsnet, Mark Bell is going to jail. Apparently, Sportsnet has learned that he will serve a six-month term at the end of this hockey season, likely in a California prison. Bell pleaded guilty on Tuesday to drunk driving after a hit-and-run incident in San Jose last Labour Day. His blood alcohol was double the legal limit when he ran into the back of another car. In other words, he Hancock'ed someone.

Sentencing for the offense will not take place until October. Interestingly enough, Sportsnet knows the length of the sentence before Bell gets sentenced. Very impressive! Sportsnet must have meant that Bell is expected to receive a six-month stint.

Being that Mark Bell is a professional athlete, we must remember that sentencing may not amount to anything other than community service and a fine. After all, Dany Heatley got zero time in prison for killing Dan Snyder with his car. Fuck, OJ Simpson got zero time in prison for double homicide. Mark Bell is now going to serve six months for rear-ending someone? Maybe, but the fact is that pro athletes rarely serve all their time.

So, the story could be true - Mark Bell probably does deserve to go to prison for injuring someone due to his own drunken negligence - but the ability of a pro athlete to dodge jail time, combined with Sportsnet's history of garbage journalism leaves me skeptical that Bell will ever see the inside of a cell.

From a very shallow, Leaf-centric point of view, Bell's impending sentence is likely bad news for Leafs Nation. Mark Bell has shown two very distinct sides of his game since graduating to the NHL. The first was the emerging power forward in Chicago that increased point and goal totals each of his first four seasons in the league, peaking at 25 goals and 48 points in 05/06. The second was the player we saw last year in San Jose: 10 goals, 11 assists and several games as a healthy scratch. It says here that the reason Mark shit the bed last season was the fallout from the DUI. It ruined his season, and has the potential to ruin the upcoming season as well. Hopefully Mark can get past it and resume his upward march to a legitimate NHL-calibre power forward.

And the conspiracy theorist in me says:
One must wonder whether this was part of the reason Bell was included in the Vesa Toskala trade. Obviously Mark Bell didn't live to expectations in San Jose, but they did trade away Tom Preissing and Josh Hennessy for his services. Often, the fact that decent talent was given up in exchange for an underachiever is enough reason to see the underachieving player through a bad season or two.

Perhaps San Jose Sharks General Manager Doug Wilson had the foresight to see this coming. Perhaps he was instructed by Sharks counsel Don Gralnek that Bell got himself into something fairly serious that would continue to dog him and his team. Perhaps the Sharks pulled the wool over JFJ's eyes, or told him that Toskala would never be a Leaf unless Mark Bell came with him. Or, perhaps I am full of bull'ish.

It's pronounced PEE-lash. I don't get it either.

Karel Pilar is no longer a Maple Leaf. Or a Marlie. The 29 year-old defenseman has signed a free agent contract with the Atlanta Thrashers. Good on him. After playing 50 games with the Leafs in the 2003/2004 season - and looking like he would become a mainstay on the blueline as a 3rd pairing d-man with a nice offensive upside - heart problems have limited Pilar to under 70 games in the 3 seasons since.

You may remember Pilar as part of the Leafs' never ending supply of mediocre talent. Pilar is a soft, finesse-type defenseman; a poor man's Tomas Kaberle. Because the Leafs already have a Tomas Kaberle, not to mention a few young d-men with more upside than Pilar, he had no hope of cracking the Leafs' lineup. He does, however, have a chance at cracking the Thrashers' lineup...but it should be noted that he is also a poor man's Alexei Zhitnik.

In any event, The Blue & White would like to congratulate him on getting outta Dodge, onto bigger and better things (Dude, you're on a playoff team now!).

Shot down in a blaze of glory

Yeah, that's right, a Bon Jovi reference.

No, you're gay.

I'm not sure what to think of the Leafs' search for a president - often called a 'mentor' to John Ferguson Jr. by Toronto media. This could only ever happen to the train wreck that is the Leafs. To be honest, the whole thing makes no fucking sense.

MLSE brass has taken the following strange stance on JFJ: he has all the tools to be an outstanding General Manager in the NHL, but as of now is not an outstanding General Manager, and needs some guidance to reach his (supposed) potential.

Now, Larry Tanenbaum (MLSE Chairman of the Board) and Richard Peddie (MLSE President & CEO) do not see eye-to-eye on the issue. Peddie hired JFJ and wants him to remain as GM - maybe to see JFJ reach his (supposed) potential, thus making himself look competent. Tanenbaum, on the other hand, would like to replace JFJ with a more experienced GM.

Their compromise is to hire a president to guide JFJ to his (supposed) potential. They have kicked the tires on a few of hockey's bigger names - most recently John Muckler and Scotty Bowman - but the position remains vacant. Bowman flat-out refused both of the offers that were sent his way. Don't expect to see Bowman sitting in a blue convertible with the Stanley Cup anytime soon. There has been no word on the outcome of the interview with Muckler.

David Shoalts wrote an article on August 5th, claiming that Bowman was close to accepting the position. Bowman refuted the claim. Shoalts seems to have since retracted his article (how fucking bush league!), as it has been modified on The Globe & Mail's website since it was originally printed. The only portion of the current article on the website that reflects Shoalts' original stance is a caption, which begins, "Legendary coach Scotty Bowman is on the verge of accepting a job as president of the Toronto Maple Leafs."

Fast forward to today, when a Michael Traikos article claims MLSE has put the search for a president on the back burner. Apparently the Leafs will begin the season with a mentor-less JFJ as GM. Richard Peddie was quoted as saying, "We still are intrigued - that's the verb I'll use - by the concept of bringing in some help for John." Thanks, Rich. I am intrigued - thats the verb I'll use - that Leafs fans haven't rolled you up in a carpet and thrown you off a bridge.

Although the Traikos article spins the situation in such a way that MLSE seems to have slowed its search for a president because they are comfortable with JFJ at the helm, the more likely reality, especially considering the above Peddie quotation, is that nobody wants the job. After all, they are looking for a tried and true "hockey guy": a guy with the know-how, the experience, and the elbow grease to build a successful franchise. Why would any hockey guy want to take the position when he'd effectively be castrated by the Steinbrenner-esque meddling of Tanenbaum and Peddie? They are interviewing men that have had significant success in the NHL for a position surrounded by people that have not...on a team that finished in the bottom half of the standings two years in a row.

Proven hockey guys and big hockey names are what should have been mentioned when JFJ was originally hired as an inexperienced 36-year old best known for being a hockey guy's son. It seems that if the big names in hockey are being brandied about, they should be in the running for the GM position itself. JFJ has shown very little in the way of growth in the position, and it seems replacing him is as easy as hiring another layer of red tape.

I don't know who you are, Paul Hunter, but I love you

Someone finally sees it my way.

Paul Hunter's article in the Toronto Star today gave me a boner. The article, entitled 'If Peca Stays, Stajan Goes' explains in detail exactly what the title conveys in 5 words. The Leafs are pursuing Mike Peca but have already committed themselves to $48 million in salary this year. Obviously this isn't the full $50.3 million salary cap, but the team would like to keep the remaining salary available so as to leave themselves some wiggle room to pick up a rental player for the inevitable drive for the playoffs.

If the Leafs want Mike Peca back, the logical solution to the problem is to lose the player that Peca would effectively replace in the lineup: Matt Stajan. Stajan figures to be the 3rd line centre this year, behind Mats Sundin and Kyle Wellwood. This is the same 3rd line centre spot that Mike Peca would fill. So, why not get rid of the salary needed to sign Peca, while vacating his roster spot at the same time?

The 3rd line on a hockey team - with very few exceptions (ie. the 2006-2007 Buffalo Sabres with Afinogenov/Roy/Vanek) - is the checking line. Thus, our 3rd line centre will be a role player that is expected to help the team in ways other than putting up points. Anyone familiar with Mike Peca's work knows that is exactly what he brings to the table. Anyone familiar with Matt Stajan's knows that he simply cannot compete with Peca in a checking role, and that he is way too young to be going bald. Peca is an above-average faceoff artist, a feared open-ice hitter, a top penalty killer, and one of the more cerebral players in the game. Stajan undoubtedly has an NHL-calibre skill set but has yet to add to that skill set with intangibles such as grit or drive. He is not yet talented enough to be an ideal scoring (first and second) line player, yet not gritty enough to be an ideal checking (third and fourth) line player. He is caught in hockey limbo.

The fact is that Mike Peca is the more valuable player to the team. Take it to the bank.

And now for the part of the story that makes me ashamed to be a Leafs fan:
What the fuck is wrong with hockey fans? Why do they have to make me look bad all the time? Do you know how hard it is to admit being a fan of the Maple Leafs when there are so many ditch-digging douche bags that are also part of Leafs Nation? There was a poll attached to the Hunter column today, which asked "If the Maple Leafs could have only one of Mike Peca and Matt Stajan, who would you rather have?"
The results? Stajan winning 939-421 at the time of writing. Thats a fucking 70% majority that would rather have Stajan than Peca. I'd expect this sort of shit from Toronto Sun readers, but the Star?!?
Next up for Star readers: A petition to trade Tomas Kaberle for Darius Kasparaitus.

Changes coming to Hockey Night In Canada

As reported in an earlier post, it appears that Bob Cole and Harry Neale are circling the drain. The Globe & Mail reports that Bob Cole has signed a 2 year transitional contract that will see his workload gradually decline. Harry Neale has inked a 1 year deal, also with a reduced workload.

Thank fuck.

I am one of many Canadians that grew up listening to Bob & Harry call games. Their voices have been the soundtrack to many of my Saturday nights for over 20 years. I am also, however, one of seemingly few Canadians that has noticed their agonizing fall from glory. Their retirement is bittersweet but necessary.

Who will replace the dynamic duo? Who knows. The Globe article speculates that Craig Simpson may leave his assistant coach position with the Oilers to join Hockey Night In Canada, albeit not to replace Cole or Neale, . It's a good thing that CBC has embraced the high-definition widescreen format, as Simpson's head would win first, second, and third place in a cinder block look-alike contest. His mother's vagina is still recovering.

It seems that a change in broadcasters is not all we should expect from HNIC.

The HNIC pre-game show, which mostly consists of a drunk Don Cherry screaming at Ron MacLean, will be jazzed up a bit. CBC has conned a slimy corporate sponsor into associating its name with what will likely be a half hour sit-through of shit. CBC Sports boss Scott Moore explained that he'd like the HNIC pre-game to become a tradition, much like the NFL pre-game ritual is to football fans. Great. By the 2008/2009 season, the show will be so dumbed-down that we'll be used to watching Chad "No, Nickelback does not suck" Kroeger's season-long attempt to eat Foster Hewitt's corpse. FYI Chad, Nickelback most definitely does suck. But I digress...

Also up for some change is the coma-inducing Satellite Hot Stove. Now, I don't know what the fuck hot stoves are, but if the show is any indication, they are fairly shitty. I like that it gives airtime to issues not normally covered by traditional hockey broadcasts, but it is agonizingly boring. Hopefully they will stick to the same type of content but add some excitement. Maybe add another cast member? Better yet, have Erik Duhatschek snort lines of coke from Al Strachan's ass crack.

p.s. Pierre LeBrun, your goatee is way too fucking small for your face. You are on TV now, didn't anyone tell you? Sort yourself out, man!

Hockey comes back September 18...kind of

Here's another from the 'Most people don't give a shit' files - the 2007 pre-season schedule has been released. The Leafs will open the pre-season against Sheldon "Beatwife" Souray and the Edmonton Oilers. In reality though, players with any talent to speak of will not be playing in the game - it'll be the Toronto Marlies vs. the Hamilton Bulldogs with a couple of NHL-calibre players forced to show up. They, of course, mail it in.

The Leafs have an 8 game pre-season, with 4 games to be played at the ACC, 3 on the road, and 1 - against Phoenix - in Winnipeg. The people of Winnipeg will be thrilled to have the franchise that was ripped out of their city - despite great attendance - come back to tease them for a night. Nice prick job, Bettman.

The Blue & White would like to take this opportunity to give a nice, heartfelt 'Fuck You" to LeafsTV, the greasy bastards that will air the pre-season games. Maple Leafs Sports & Entertainment, owner of both the Leafs and LeafsTV, are gradually but steadily allowing conventional cable stations to air fewer and fewer games, forcing Leaf die-hards to purchase LeafsTV to catch the games. Fer fucksakes LeafsTV, do you think it'd be possible to air anything worthwhile when you aren't showing a Leaf game? Anything at all! Fuckkkk. If ever there was a building that stood for quality television broadcasting, LeafsTV is the plane that crashed into it. I'd rather watch Waterworld back to back to back than have to put up with the shit that LeafsTV shoves down our throats.

Boss!

There was an interesting footnote to Chris Zelkovich's column from Friday. The article, revolving around Bob McCown's Prime Time Sports, was interesting enough, but what struck me was the "SUMMER HOCKEY" hodgepodge at the end. It read:

"There's little doubt that Bob Cole and Harry Neale will be back with Hockey Night In Canada this fall, but changes are surely coming. Cole's agent Elliott Kerr says he has no doubt the 74-year-old announcer will be behind the microphone doing what he's always done. CBC Sports head Scott Moore has indicated that, too. "We're in the process of reviewing all facets of Hockey Night from last season and looking at continuing the tradition of improvement every season," Moore said. ``I'm hopeful both Bob and Harry will be back next season." But don't be surprised if CBC starts easing out Cole by assigning Jim Hughson to a lot more of the early games. The guy has to retire sometime."

Small birds read that article, and immediately fell from the sky, dead. Is CBC finally prying Bob and Harry out of the broadcast booth? My best guess had that happening about 10 years after the earth crashed into the sun. I'll spare Bob and Harry the sharp tongue that Brian Duff was licked with, but the simple fact is that the once-great duo has lost a step. They frequently miscall games and melt down more often than Brian "Boom Goes The Dynamite" Collins. Although that seems apparent to any observant Leaf fan, CBC's refusal to give anyone else a chance on Saturday night made many of us think we were stuck with Cole and Neale.

Scott Moore's comments, however, give me some hope (however small) that the HNIC early game might be called by someone else in the near future. Following a sentence that hints at a retooling at HNIC with a remark hoping for the commentators' return translates into bad news for the duo and good news for HNIC viewers. At the very least, Moore's comments tell us not to buy stock in Bob Cole or Harry Neale. Thank fuck.